The Drunken Feathers

Scene xv

The state apartments at Windsor castle, in the middle of the night. The words 'October, 1788' appear. QUEEN CHARLOTTE, wearing her nightgown, cries into her handkerchief outside of KING GEORGE III's bedchamber as she is consoled by LADY PEMBROKE. SIR GEORGE BAKER, KING GEORGE III's physician, hurriedly enters the hallway and finds them there.

BAKER: Your Majesty, Lady Pembroke! I've been informed that the King is very ill.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: Oh, Sir Baker, His Majesty is suffering tremendously. He woke two hours ago in such agonizing pain that he could not speak for a full five minutes! When he could manage it, he complained of a most insufferable stomachache and requested that you come as soon as it is convenient.

BAKER: Is His Majesty awake, madam?

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: He is, sir.

BAKER: Then I shall return shortly with a diagnosis. [Bows] Your Majesty...

BAKER enters KING GEORGE III's bedchamber. KING GEORGE III lies in his bed wearing his nightgown, writhing in pain under the covers. He perspires heavily and gasps for breath. BAKER quickly bows and approaches him.

BAKER: Your Majesty!

KING GEORGE III: Baker, help me, I beg of you! I fear I shall die this night! Oh! There is a fire in my abdomen, and in all my joints and appendages. Respiration is difficult, if not impossible... Tell me you have brought the opium pill!

BAKER: I have, Your Majesty.

BAKER gives KING GEORGE III the opium pill. KING GEORGE III sighs and feels slightly relaxed, though still uncomfortable.

BAKER: Is it possible that Your Majesty's ailments derive from constipation?

KING GEORGE III: Not at all. I filled the chamber pot before I went to bed. No, it is not constipation. It must be something far worse.

BAKER: I regret having to make this request, but may I examine Your Majesty?

KING GEORGE III: Oh, go on.

BAKER removes KING GEORGE III's nightgown while the latter is still under the covers. BAKER discovers to his horror that KING GEORGE III's arms are almost completely covered in a red, unsightly rash.

KING GEORGE III: My skin bears the appearance of having been scourged with cords, does it not? That is how the Princess Royal described it.

BAKER: When did this skin lesion first appear?

KING GEORGE III: I first noticed it Tuesday last, but it has since expanded and turned a ghastly red. I know not why or how it came to be; all I did that day was walk in the grass awhile with the Princesses, and then I had four large pairs for supper.

BAKER: Was the grass damp?

KING GEORGE III: As I remember it, quite.

BAKER: Did Your Majesty change your stockings after the walk?

KING GEORGE III: I daresay I forgot.

BAKER: Then that must be the cause of your malady, sir. It should resolve itself in the coming week. Should this discomfort persist, I shall return in the morning with Senna and castor oil. Until then, I would advise Your Majesty to sleep.

KING GEORGE III: Sleep? No, no, I cannot sleep. Until I am cured, I cannot sleep. Ah, there it is again! That sharp, searing ache, as if someone had plunged a dagger into me!

BAKER: I am afraid I can do nothing more for Your Majesty until the morning. I shall return at eight o'clock.

KING GEORGE III: And not a minute later!

BAKER: [Nods] Goodnight, Your Majesty.

BAKER bows and exits the bedchamber, finding QUEEN CHARLOTTE and LADY PEMBROKE outside of it.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: Sir Baker, tell me His Majesty will not die!

BAKER: The King's life is not in danger, but he is suffering from a very acute pain in the pit of the stomach shooting to the back and sides, making respiration difficult, as well as a moderate epidermal affliction and severe rheumatism in the legs. The cause of these ailments can only be attributed to His Majesty having walked on the grass several hours, and, without having changed his stockings, which were very wet, went to St. James's; and that at night he had four large pears for supper.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: But His Majesty adores pears. He has consumed hundreds of them, and never before have they given him any difficulty.

BAKER: I am sorry that I am not able to further assist the King at present, but I shall return to Windsor later this morning to give him a supplement of Senna.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: I wish to stay at His Majesty's bedside until then.

LADY PEMBROKE: Your Majesty ought to sleep and visit the King in the morning. If you stay awake all through the night, you might become ill yourself.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: [Acquiescing] Very well, Lady Pembroke. Goodnight, Sir Baker.

BAKER: [Bows] Goodnight, Your Majesty.

BAKER looks anxiously at KING GEORGE III's bedchamber door as KING GEORGE III moans in pain. Cut to ACT II, SCENE XVI.