The Drunken Feathers

Scene xxxviii

Inside the House of Commons. Everyone inside is buzzing with talk of the regency. The PRINCE OF WALES stands on the second story of the room looking down at the scene. PITT and LORD CHATHAM enter and sit next to LORD THURLOW, the MARQUESS OF CARMARTHEN, LORD SYDNEY, LORD STAFFORD, the DUKE OF RICHMOND, LORD BUCKINGHAM, and LORD CAMDEN.

PITT: [Stands] The accounts of the physicians are at variance with one another to an extreme degree; while Mr. Willis is in accordance with the fact that His Majesty's good health will soon be restored, Dr. Warren is completely devoted to the notion that the King is, to use his words, 'in a decided state of insanity.' Dr. Warren's views cannot be trusted, for while his medicinal skill is universally known and acknowledged, he possesses comparatively little experience pertaining to treating and curing disorders of the mind. Mr. Willis, however, has over twenty-eight years of experience, and has actually cured dozens of his patients. Therefore, it is my belief that his word alone should be regarded as sound.

SPEAKER: Now, I will hear a rebuttal from the Opposition.

BURKE and SHERIDAN stand up.

BURKE: Mr. Pitt, I cannot comprehend the grounds of your animosity toward Dr. Warren. How could the first physician in this country be likely to have given a false, precipitate, and ill-grounded account of His Majesty on oath?

SHERIDAN: Indeed, Mr. Pitt, it is ridiculous to stand upon idle ceremonies and trifling etiquettes. When Dr. Warren heard Mr. Willis roundly declare what every other of His Majesty's physicians pronounced it impossible to speak to, he must assert that Mr. Willis was a very hasty decider and a random speaker.

BURKE: While Dr. Warren has obvious evidence to support his diagnosis, Mr. Willis does not.

SHERIDAN: Despite his supposed 'experience' treating the insane, Mr. Willis cannot even diagnosis the King.

PITT: Neither can Dr. Warren.

SHERIDAN: But he has.

PITT: 'Insanity' is not a legitimate diagnosis, Mr. Sheridan.

SHERIDAN: On the contrary, sir; it is quite legitimate. Dr. Warren has proven that with his reports.

PITT: Can you elaborate upon these 'reports,' Mr. Sheridan?

SHERIDAN: Certainly, Mr. Pitt. His reports state some behaviors of His Majesty that clearly prove he in incapable of regaining his senses: the King, as he is frequently subjected to fevers, sweats through his bedclothes, throws them off his person when he grows too warm, and even soils them. Additionally, when the King develops a fancy to assault one of his attendants or physicians, he is restrained in what he calls his 'coronation chair,' a chair that has straps tied to it to restrict his arms and legs and prevent him from bring harm upon himself or others. The majority of His Majesty's physicians agree that his disposition is now customary, and that there is not the faintest hope of a recovery.

SHERIDAN, BURKE, and PITT sit. FOX stands. He glances up at the PRINCE OF WALES, who looks down on him from the second floor of the room.

SPEAKER: Mr. Fox, Whig Member for Westminster and Leader of the Opposition, you may now deliver your sentiments on the subject of the upcoming regency.

FOX: It is quite evident that His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales has as clear, as express a right to assume the full power of the monarch, as he would if the King were dead.

Everyone in the House of Commons gasps and whispers to one another. SHERIDAN and the DUKE OF PORTLAND sigh and rub their foreheads with dismay. PITT smiles, as he is glad that FOX is giving a terrible speech, and slaps his thigh with good humor.

PITT: [To LORD CHATHAM, with good humor] I will de-Whig this gentleman for the rest of his life!

Cut to ACT II, SCENE XXXIX.