The Drunken Feathers

Scene v

The interior of House of Commons. The words 'APRIL 30TH, 1787' appear. The PRINCE OF WALES watches the people below him, as usual. PITT sits next to his ministry and the other TORIES.

PITT: I had no intention of embarrassing the Prince of Wales.

MARQUESS OF CARMARTHEN: But that is precisely what we are obliged to do in order to discover the truth behind His Royal Highness' clandestine marriage!

PITT: When His Royal Highness becomes King and is granted the power to decide who will keep their place in government and who will not, the gentlemen who exposed his intimate affairs shall be the first to go. Therefore, I strongly insist we Tories not press this matter any further.

MARQUESS OF CARMARTHEN: But Mr. Pitt—

PITT: The Whigs shall speak on behalf of His Royal Highness. Let us not act until we hear what they have to say.

Across the room, FOX, the DUKE OF PORTLAND, LORD STORMONT, and LORD LOUGHBOROUGH take their seats. A very young and excitable gentleman, CHARLES GREY, takes a seat next to FOX.

GREY: Pardon me, sir, but would you happen to know if Mr. Charles James Fox will be in the House today?

FOX: I should think so, since you are speaking to him at present.

GREY: Oh, Mr. Fox! Forgive me for not recognizing you. I became a Whig Member in September last for Northumberland. I developed a hope to make your acquaintance, but I never struck up the courage act upon it until now.

FOX: Your name, sir?

GREY: [After a pause] Oh! Forgive me, sir. My name is Charles Grey.

FOX: Oh, Mr. Grey! I have seen your name in the newspapers.

GREY: Have you, sir?

FOX: Indeed, I have, regarding your amorous connection to the Duchess of Devonshire.

GREY: [Blushes] Oh, I pray her husband does not read them.

GREY looks over his shoulder to see the DUKE OF DEVONSHIRE glaring at him. SHERIDAN enters and takes his seat next to FOX.

SHERIDAN: Charles, I must speak with you.

FOX: What about?

SHERIDAN: Mrs. Fitzherbert has requested that you not speak indecently of her in the House.

FOX: Meaning what?

SHERIDAN: You cannot directly deny their marriage.

FOX: Of course I can, and I will, for there is no marriage.

SHERIDAN: But to deny it would be to imply that she and Prinny are merely lovers and not husband and wife!

FOX: Why should that concern me? I have enough with which to occupy myself. I must floor our adversaries, namely Pitt and Rolle; remove objections to an open discussion of Prinny's finances; and clear myself of the charges implicit in newspaper columns and caricatures, which accuse me of witnessing Prinny's "marriage."

SHERIDAN: But Mrs. Fitzherbert's good name depends—

SPEAKER: Order in the House!