The Drunken Feathers

Scene IX

(Carlton House, the following morning. SHERIDAN and FOX run through the house until the reach the PRINCE OF WALES' bedchamber. Ignoring the servants, they throw open the door, only to find the PRINCE OF WALES cheerfully sitting up in bed. He wears a clean nightshirt and bandages. His other friends the HON. HANGER, KEMBLE, COSWAY, WINDHAM, COLONEL ST. LEGER, and CAPTAIN PAYNE are also present. The PRINCE OF WALES drinks a cup of coffee and is happily surprised to see FOX and SHERIDAN.)

PRINCE OF WALES

Fox, Sheridan! Care for some coffee?

(FOX and SHERIDAN are bewildered as to how and why the PRINCE OF WALES appears so happy and healthy.)

FOX

(Incredulous)

Coffee?!

PRINCE OF WALES

Or would you prefer tea?

SHERIDAN

I'm sorry, did you not stab yourself last night?

PRINCE OF WALES

(Nonchalant)

Oh, I did, but my wound is healing extraordinarily well. Shall I reveal the scar?

(He pulls down his bandages to show his fresh scar, which is covered in stitches and a little dried blood.)

PRINCE OF WALES (cont.)

Impressive, no? It has the appearance of a battle scar, which I quite like since the King will never let me see battle.

(Beat)

Are you acquainted with my other friends? These gentlemen are Colonel Anthony St. Leger and the Hon. George Hanger; the actor Mr. John Philip Kemble—you must know him, Sheridan, no? Then there is the artist Mr. Richard Cosway, who has painted me several times in a most flattering light; and, of course, you already know Mr. William Windham and Captain John Willett Payne from the House of Commons.

CAPTAIN PAYNE

(Nodding)

Always a pleasure, gentlemen!

FOX

(Puzzles)

Yes, of course...

(Beat, to PRINCE OF WALES)

For a fellow on the brink of suicide, you seem awfully gay, sir.

PRINCE OF WALES

That was yesterday, Charles. Gone are my days of melancholy and strife; for, although I shall not disclose the exact nature of our connection, I can happily say that Maria has promised she will be mine forevermore!

FOX

Sheridan and I have a notion as to what sort of connection it is, and I must communicate our immense anxiety about it! We feel...

(A knock at the door.)

LORD SOUTHAMPTON'S VOICE

Your Royal Highness?

PRINCES OF WALES

Another visitor?

(To the door)

Enter!

(LORD SOUTHAMPTON enters looking apprehensive, and bows. He holds a few papers in his hand.)