The Drunken Feathers

Scene xxi

A room in Windsor Castle. QUEEN CHARLOTTE is meeting with BAKER and DR. WILLIAM HEBERDEN to discuss KING GEORGE III's health.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: I am sorry you must be replaced with Dr. Heberden, but as you said yourself, Sir Baker, the task of healing the King is too arduous for one man alone.

BAKER: Of course, Your Majesty, and I know he shall soon recuperate whilst under Dr. Heberden's care. Before I take my leave, I wish to say that despite the King's recent behavior, I know it is not indicative of his true nature; upon my honor, his conduct is the most respectful in this nation.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: Your dedication to the King shall not be forgotten, sir.

HEBERDEN: Your medicinal studies are most respected in the Royal College of physicians, sir, and I shall ascertain that they are—

The door to the room opens, and DR. RICHARD WARREN is let in. He walks into the room clumsily, then nearly trips, and in doing so spills some of his papers on his floor. He mutters and swears to himself until he has gathered them up, and approaches QUEEN CHARLOTTE, BAKER, AND DR. HEBERDEN, who stare at him in confusion.

DR. WARREN: [Bows] Your Majesty...gentlemen.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: [After a pause] Dr. Warren?

DR. WARREN: I have prepared some remedies for His Majesty. I thought I might begin with a generous supplement of—

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: Forgive me, sir, but I only sent for Dr. Heberden.

DR. WARREN: But I was sent for, Your Majesty.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: By whom?

PRINCE OF WALES: Dr. Warren! Fine morning, is it not?

QUEEN CHARLOTTE, DR. HEBERDEN, and SIR BAKER turn in shock to see the PRINCE OF WALES cheerfully enter from the back of the room. He approaches the group as DR. WARREN beams with delight.

DR. WARREN: 'Tis indeed, for Your Royal Highness' presence has made it so.

PRINCE OF WALES: Oh, Richard, you flatter me more than I deserve it! You look extraordinarily well this—

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: Did Your Royal Highness call for Dr. Warren?

PRINCE OF WALES: I did, madam, and he has come on such short notice! The first sign of a proper physician is reliability, I say.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: I strictly forbade you from meddling in the King's matters.

PRINCE OF WALES: But madam, I act with only his convalescence in mind. Upon my honor, Dr. Warren is the finest physician in the country, as he regularly treats Mr. Fox, the Dukes of Portland and Devonshire, and myself, among other notable patients.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: [Acquiescing] If Your Royal Highness insists upon taking such measures, you must in future receive my approbation before doing so.

PRINCE OF WALES: Yes, yes, very well.

DR. WARREN: Might I have the honor of making His Majesty's acquaintance? 

Shouting is heard from outside. KING GEORGE III stumbles into the room as he shouts at the servants who earnestly follow him.

KING GEORGE III: Where is the Queen? Damn you, devils! I say, where is she? I will not pass another night alone! Nay, I will not pass another night alone, for there is too much to be said and done. I am much too nervous to be—

KING GEORGE III stops talking when he sees QUEEN CHARLOTTE. He takes slow, wobbly steps toward her as the PRINCE OF WALES and BAKER grow anxious.

KING GEORGE III: My Charlotte...

KING GEORGE III suddenly becomes impassioned and rushes up to his startled wife. The PRINCE OF WALES and DR. WARREN cautiously take a step back.

KING GEORGE III: Oh, 'tis a very terrible thing: London is flooded, Windsor is up in flames, the French are invading! Look out! 'Tis General Washington and the King of Prussia, with daggers in their hands and white in their eyes! Come out of this place, or we shall all burn up in smoke. The Great Wall of China is falling, and the Thames shall drown us all! Come, come!

PRINCE OF WALES: [Aside, to the servants] Take him away at once, and confine him to his chambers.

The servants promptly approach KING GEORGE III, take him by the arms, and begin to drag him away as he protests.

KING GEORGE III: Help, help! They shall drag me to the very pits of Hell! They are devils, I tell you!

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: [To the PRINCE OF WALES] What have you done?

The doors are shut behind KING GEORGE III and his attendants; his muffled wails are still audible. 

PRINCE OF WALES: Only what is necessary.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: What wrong has the King committed to warrant this treatment?

PRINCE OF WALES: His Majesty, madam, has clearly succumbed to violent outbursts, incessant rambling, and, as of recent, soiling himself. It would be indecent to let him run about the place, especially in the presence of company.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: What a fiend you are, treating your own father as though he were a dog! 

QUEEN CHARLOTTE runs after her husband as DR. HEBERDEN and SIR BAKER quickly follow her, leaving the PRINCE OF WALES and DR. WARREN alone.

PRINCE OF WALES: Well, something had to be done! Are we to let him go on for hours like that?

DR. WARREN: Certainly not, sir. Your Royal Highness was entirely in the right. Not to slander the Queen, but women often become hysterical in these situations. What Windsor needs is a competent man to take charge while His Majesty is ill.

DR. WARREN gives the PRINCE OF WALES a look. The PRINCE OF WALES gets the hint and smiles, liking the idea. Cut to ACT II, SCENE XXII.