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How can I make it up to her?

It was all my fault. It was never her fault we barely talked over the summer.

I was the one who loved her. I was the one who decided that it would be best to not even stay friends with her.

I wished, so dearly, that I could travel back in time and redo my mistakes.

What did she do to deserve my resent?

The answer was clear: nothing.

Wondering to myself wondering to myself how I stooped so low with her, I spent the day after our first real talk thinking about how I could've handled this whole thing differently.

Nonetheless, I was back in business.

As August blew by, I realized something more and more. 

It really did happen again. 

Whenever we talked, I was nervous and cautious about every word I put, careful about not revealing my feelings. 

I only lasted a month and a half away from her, and considering everything, I'm  surprised I even lasted that long. 

It was a never ending cycle.  I fall in love.  I try to move on.  I momentarily forget.  I reconquer the lost territory. 

I was back at where I started in January, my heart locked on to her.

You never forget friends, but you also never forget loved ones...

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