the sky is blue

•<=~the truth~=>•

To her.  She knows who she is-

••••••••••

I hear it all the time.

"Liking a friend doesn't work."

Many people say liking your best friend is awkward, and it only results in a damaged connection in the end. 

Why?

Friends, besides family, are the ones who you are closest to; the ones who you trust and share everything with. 

You already know so much about them, and they know about you. 

How can you fall in love with someone you don't know anything about? 

If you do, it's not real.

I fell in love with her. Over and over again.

And every time I thought I couldn't fall further, I would slip and go sliding down another deeper hole. Somehow, I would use my wits and find a way out. Then she would cause an earthquake, which shakes my world. The Earth would open up from underneath my feet, and down I would go.

But I don't care what everyone says.

I uncovered the truth. The truth about love and hate, regret and resent, and friendship.

First of all, it was never her fault. It was mine to begin with. It was mine all along.

She didn't choose me, I chose her.

Two years ago, I barely gave her a glance. Now all I want is a glance.

All I ever wanted was a chance...

The poem was nothing. I've always tried to put her into words, to mold her into a story, but it was impossible.

She is greater than words. She is on higher ground. She is soaring, but I'm still on the ground, pleading for her to land and give me a pair of wings.

She deserves all the appreciation and respect.

Ever since I truly reconnected with her in eighth grade, I wanted to model myself after her.

Even before then, she shone like a bright beacon, so I used it to guide me to where I am today. I owe it to her.

If I were to even begin to describe her, I would start by saying this: maybe to other people, they could walk right by her. Not me.

To other people, she might have her flaws, yet all I see is perfection.

When I'm with her, I melt into my shoes, unable to bear the weight of the situation.

She always looks good.

Anyone can look good in a sparkling red dress or a smooth, black tuxedo. But only angels could look fine in rags.

One thing I never got about her was her ability to doubt herself.

She might complain or seem lazy like any other teenager, but if you dig a little deeper and look a little harder, she is the most hard-working and dedicated person I know.

She might complain about her body, but I see nothing wrong. She is beautiful from the skin to the mind to the heart.

Texting her makes my day.  Calling her makes my year.  Seeing her makes my life. 

Seeing her is the most calming feeling.  Seeing her after a long, tough day is like fighting through a harsh blizzard just to get to a comfortable, warm coffee shop. 

Then you drink the coffee and the warmth empowers you.  Standing beside her, I feel like I can do anything. 

I love the way her eyes focus on to mine, and I get that melting sensation. 

I love the way she laughs and apologizes, like she needs to be sorry for something. 

I love the way she smiles and gives me a playful look, and I feel like I belong right where I am. 

I love the smoothness of her skin when our fingers graze or our hands touch, it reminds me of a soft, blanket covering me from a cold winter.

I love the way she talks, inputting only the most realistic emotions into her voice.

I love the way she thinks, in sync with my thoughts. 

We go together like green and blue.

I have missing pieces, and she completes those unfinished puzzles while still staying in our boundaries.

If she needs help, I am there. No explanation needed.

I may be able to live without being with her, but I can't live without her.

She helped me discover the truth, but did I really discover it?

The truth is the mystery that enshrouds us all. That mystery is the great emotion of love.

Love is more than physical contact. I'm pretty sure it's more than what any of us think. But then again, how would I know? I was close. I reached out to the cosmos, my fingers barely scraping the stardust trail. I almost found out.

Why does it happen? No one knows, and no one may ever know. I never found out the truth. Or did I?

That question will never be answered.

•••••••••

To her-

Ever since the first grade, I knew you would be special. I was just so blind for six years. It took me until eighth grade to realize the truth about you. Now let me tell you the truth about me.

I just want to let you know how sorry I am for all of this mess. I sucked you into my world, and all you did was accept it.

I was wrong for accusing you and thus ignoring you over the summer. I just think I needed to fall so low in order to reach so high.

You are everything I'd want in a friend, and to a greater extent, a partner for life.

You are an amazing musician, writer, and overall person. You need to hear that more, and I should've told you more often.

I've already said it before, but you are beautiful inside and out.

You are the person who I see in the morning, you are the person who I see in the afternoon, and you are sometimes even the last person I talk to before I go to sleep.

We live minutes away from each other, but it feels like hours when I'm not with you.

A bus approaches an intersection. One road goes one way, another road goes the other way. But what if, someday those roads merged?

Thanks for nine amazing years.

I love you.