Tortured Within (Jack Barakat)

Chapter Sixteen

My eyes opened slowly and they scanned the room I was in. I was in a hospital. The next thing I noticed was an IV in my arm.  

"Oh, good. You're awake," a doctor said as he walked in the room. I remained silent and thought about what had happened. How long was I unconscious? I looked at the clock, which read 12:43. Well, it certainly couldn't have been the next day, so I just assumed it was midnight. 

"How are you feeling?" the doctor asked me.  

"What happened?" I asked, ignoring his question. I felt like shit. 

"When you were brought here by ambulance, we took blood tests, checked your blood pressure, and then your blood sugar. Both were dangerously low. We also found that you had very low potassium levels. That bag connected to the IV is full of potassium. Are you aware of the dangers of low potassium?" the doctor said almost casually. This all was scaring me to be honest. I shook my head. 

"Potassium controls your heart and all your organs. You could go into cardiac arrest. You're very lucky that we got you here now," he said and he paused to maybe see if I was going to reply, but I didn't want to say anything. I was too afraid and I didn't like hospitals at all.  

"So, your medical files say you were diagnosed with anorexia binge-purge type four years ago when you were fourteen, am I correct?" he asked.  

I just nodded my head, remembering when I had finally been caught. My mom had been suspicious a few months prior, but it was all confirmed when a friend I thought I could trust told a school counselor and she called my mother. When I got home my mom had a family discussion about it and of course I was in denial. She set up a doctor appointment and that's when I was told I had an eating disorder.  

"Have you ever gone considered going inpatient?"  

"I have. Twice. And if you think I'm going back, you're wrong." I said. That was not an option for me, despite almost dying. 

"I think it would be the best option right now for you. I can't force you, but I strongly encourage you to. At least think about it. You have to stay here overnight regardless, but think about it," he said. 

"Where's Jack?" I asked, ignoring what he had just told me.  

"I'm sorry, who?"  

"My boyfriend. He's really tall and has black hair, part of it's blonde." 

"I think I know who you're talking about. I can go get him, but I think your family wants to see you too,"  

"I don't want to see them right now," I said. He just nodded and said he would go get Jack for me before he left. 

A minute later, a nurse walked in. 

"Here, you need to drink this," she said, handing me a bottle of orange juice. 

"No, I'm not going to drink this," I said stubbornly.  

"Yes, you are. Your blood sugar is too low, now drink it. I'm not leaving until you do," she said. This is why I hate hospitals - you have no control, but then again does having an eating disorder give you control? 

I started drinking it slowly, but decided to chug the rest. The nurse left and that's when I panicked a little. I hated drinks with calories, they were unnecessary. I felt disgusted with myself. Without even thinking, I slowly sat up and then stood up. I felt so weak. 

I grabbed the IV and wheeled it across the hospital room and into the bathroom that was connected. I stuck my fingers down my throat, letting all the orange juice go to waste. I gagged and the taste was horrible.