My Silent Undoing (Frank Iero)

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Chapter Thirty-Four:

The next morning, I dread facing Mikey. We didn't make up yet, and I wasn't in the mood for him to be angry at me. I find myself leaving my bunk and going to the bathroom to brush my teeth, get dressed, and look presentable for the day.

Once I leave the bathroom I run into Mikey. He looks down at me with a soft look. Which surprises me. I thought he would be still pissed off at me.

"We need to talk," he utters.

"First I need coffee and oatmeal." I say, knowing the mention of food would put him more at ease. Even though I was starving and was about to get some food anyway.

"Sure sounds good. Let's talk over some coffee." Mikey responds.

"DID SOMEONE SAY COFFEE!" I hear Gerard screech. Shit. I forgot that Gerard had an obsession with coffee.

"Shut up you lunatic!" Mikey screeches back while rolling his eyes. It was too late. Gerard left his bunk and was standing next to us.

"Just like old times, uh? Way meeting with coffee?" He winks at us.

Mikey and I roll our eyes at him as we follow him close behind. When we reach him he's already put the coffee pot on, and is standing impatiently close to it with a mug in hand.

"You have a serious caffeine addiction." Mikey accuses Gerard.

"Excuse yourself. I have no such addiction. I just love coffee." He says. I just sit down at the table, and Mikey joins me.

"So how are you feeling today?" He asks me while looking at me with concern.

"I feel okay." I say softly. I get up to grab a bowl and some oatmeal. "I just need to relax today and not stress out."

"I wanted to apologize for what I said yesterday." Mikey says softly. I felt tears brim my eyes. I tried to focus on my breathing. I will not. I cannot cry.

"You humiliated me in front of everyone." I say with a little bit anger in my voice.

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry-." He looks hurt at what he did to me.

"They were headed to the bus, but everyone saw how you looked at me." I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

That's when Frank walked in. Frank saw the look on my face, and he instantly came to my side. He places his hand comfortingly on my shoulder as support.

"What's going on?" Frank asks.

"Mikey boy here is trying to apologize to Lila for being an idiot yesterday, and Lila is still really upset." Gerard says while sipping his coffee. He grabs a mug and pours some coffee into it, and places it in front of Lila.

"I'm really sorry Lila," Mikey says. Gerard places a mug of coffee in front of Mikey as well.

"As long as you don't do that again," I say. I feel calmer already. I just don't want him to humiliate me again in front of the band. I want to be respected just like everyone else. "I deserve the same respect that everyone in this band receives from you too." I feel Frank's hand gently massage my shoulder comfortingly. I sense myself calming down by his touch.

"I understand Lila. I was out of line. I'm really sorry. Forgive me please?" Mikey asks.

"I forgive you," I reply.

"I love you Lila. Way too much." Mikey says.

"I love you too Mikey. You're my brother for crying out loud," I smile a small smile. Mikey then offers me his fist, and I fist bump him back. He smiles at me, and I feel instantly better. Once I finish breakfast I head back to the bunk area. I'm going to rest a little more before we get to the next stop.

A few minutes pass as I slowly get more and more comfortable in my bunk. I hear a light tap on my bunk. I look out to see Frank standing outside my bunk.

"You okay?" He asks. I slip over the side of my bunk so I was sitting on the edge. Frank sits next to me on the edge. The rest of the guys were either in the kitchen or in the front living area of the tour bus.

"I'm feeling okay. I'm happy Mikey and I made up finally." I utter.

"I'm glad you guys worked it out," Frank says while looking up at me. I could see the green specks in his hazel eyes so clearly from how close we are. I love his eyes so much.

"Yeah me too," I say while biting my lip nervously. Frank was looking intensely at me. I suddenly notice the distance between us was becoming less and less.

Our faces were a mere inch apart before something in me snapped. I realized what was happening, and pulled away as quick as I could.

"Frank...we can't," I say. He looks at me and nods.

"Sorry I don't know what came over me." He says and his voice is a little husky.

"I really should get some rest." My voice was shaky.

"You okay?" He asks worriedly.

"I'm fine," I smile at him. He hugs me and then walks away.