My Silent Undoing (Frank Iero)

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Chapter Thirty-Seven:

We are doing a show tonight in Portland and the band managers booked us hotel rooms since we are celebrating the halfway point of our tour. I am so excited to sleep in a proper bed.

Nothing could ruin the amazing mood I am feeling. Even as I walked through the venue and saw Frank talking to that merch girl. I didn't care because I got my own hotel room to myself tonight.

"Lila," Bob calls me from the chairs by our tour bus. I walk over to him with a big smile on my face.

"Hey Bob," I say as I join him there.

"You seem in a really good mood," He notes.

"Nothing could rain on my parade. I'm going to enjoy the hell out of that hotel room tonight." I say happily.

"Uh, gonna get lucky tonight?" He asks with a wink on my face. I smack his arm in response.

"Bob! No, I'm not. I'm going to have my own room. I'm going to take the longest bath, and even order room service. I'm going all out tonight." I say with a dazed look on my face as I dream of the night I had planned for myself.

"Sounds like fun. Must be nice to not get stuffed in a room with guys." He groans.

"Yeah sorry about you all getting thrown into only two rooms for the five of you." I smirk at him.

"LILA!" I hear Gerard screeching before I even see him.

"GERARD!" I screech back. I get up and run over to him as he runs to me.

"I missed you sister!" He sings out beautifully as he gives me the biggest hug and holds me tight. I love his singing voice so much.

"As did I dear brother," I say poetically.

"You seem so peppy this morning," he notes.

"As do you," I wink. We head off walking around the venue. We walk into Frank and that girl sitting around talking.

"Frankiebaby, who is she? Why you cheating on me?" Gerard asks dramatically. I can't help but laugh at Gerard's silliness. He was in a happy mood. I assume he just had coffee. He was so energetic. Frank just rolls his eyes at Gerard.

"Guys this is Karen," He introduces us to the girl. "She's the merch girl from Taking Back Sunday's booth." She was a bit taller than Frank, and she has dyed red hair and brown eyes. She was quite cute I guess.

"Nice to meet you doll." Gerard says in a funny voice. I giggle in response.

"Sorry about my lame ass brother. He's so embarrassing. It's nice to meet you," I say with a big smile on my face.

"Nice to meet you. Lila is it?" She asks with a smile on her face, and I nod my head. I feel Frank's eyes on me the whole time. After talking for a few minutes Gerard gets bored and we walk to a nearby park together that was a block away from the venue.

"You okay?" He asks.

"I'm feeling amazing," I respond. "You?" I ask.

"I'm good. That wasn't awkward for you to meet that girl, right?" He asks gently while looking at me with concern. I side hug him and smile. He is so sweet to worry about me so much. We are sitting on swings. I'm just happy that today he didn't drink or take any drugs. I have my brother back.

"I'm fine. It's good that Frank's talking to other girls." I say as I begin to swing. It's hard to not be upset when you're swinging. It's calming my anxiety each time I swing back and forth.

"That's good. It doesn't make sense though. Karen's nice and all, but she isn't you." He notes sadly.

"Gerard we didn't work out." I say gently.

"I don't get it. Frank and you make more sense than anything else I've ever known. I know he still cares a lot about you. He'd do anything for you in a heartbeat. I also know you would do the same." He tells me and I feel my heart sink.

"Gerard I'm in a happy mood today, and I don't want to change it by thinking of Frank and I's past. We aren't together now, and I need to accept that." I say.

"So you don't want to get back with him at all?" He asks seriously.

"I don't know. I kind of realized over this tour that I do want to be in a relationship again. Not something casual. I want a real relationship again. I'm ready again." I say firmly.

"Do you want that with Frank?" He asks softly.

"I don't know Gerard. We had so many issues at the end. We fought all the time. Last time we didn't work out. You know that. We can't do this again unless we know we can get through our issues." I say honestly.

"I think Frank wants to be with you. He's been talking a lot about you this past year while you were at school. And even now on tour." He utters.

"Then why was he all over Karen?" I ask.

"He's trying to distract himself."

"Well it's not going to make me want to be with him." I note.

"I know. He's just being a boy. A dumb boy. For you, I'm sure he'll come to his senses eventually."

"Thanks Gerard, but Frank and I don't need to get back together."

"I know. I just wish you guys did because I wanted him to be my brother-in-law." He says seriously and he looks so sad. I laugh because I know he's being serious.

"You are very silly." We swing for a bit more and then head back to the venue.

I am so excited tonight we are all going to a fancy restaurant to celebrate mid-tour. I have this beautiful black dress I'm going to wear to it. I love getting dressed up, and couldn't wait to get all dolled up.

Tonight I let someone else handle the booth during the show. I wanted to see the boys perform tonight. The vibe in the air was so electric. This was going to be an amazing show. I could already tell.

I stood in the back of the crowd just enjoying the show. When the other bands were done and My Chemical Romance was going up I feel so alive and excited to see them perform.

The moment they get on stage I lock eyes with Frank. He looks at me nervously and winks at me. I feel myself get warm. I feel the nervousness in my stomach.

"Hey everybody!" Gerard speaks into the crowd. It's all a blur. His words sink into the distance as Frank and I are staring at each other. Just like that it's just the two of us in the room. It's amazing he can always get me going by just looking at me.

They are finally playing and Frank loses himself to the music. I find it very hot when he gets like that.

The show ends and I feel so excited to get dolled up for dinner. I run backstage to meet the boys.

"RayRay!" I throw myself into him. He was trying to avoid me.

"Lila I'm all sweaty and gross. Don't hug me!" He screeches, but I manage to get one sweaty hug in before I hug my brothers and the rest of the band. I save Frank for last.

"You were great tonight." I whisper in his ear while I hug him.

"Thanks," he says nervously. I smirk at him. We were all headed back to our hotel rooms to take quick showers and head to dinner. I couldn't wait.