Sanity: The Saw Chronicles [C]

Chapter 18 | Bones

I'm still getting blood out from under my nails but what else is new? It was nice to fall asleep in Ricky's arms, in my own bed. As per usual, he was already off training by the time I woke up. That's quite alright. I wanted to go check on Kuza without him knowing. He's already got to be suspicious after yesterday. It'd be best not to add fuel to the fire.

Kuza's room was dark with only a few warm candles lighting the way. It was nothing out of the ordinary for him. His room is his sanctuary. He likes it very mellow. It always smelled so sweet too, like honey and smoke. I calmly walked over to the side of his bed. He didn't say anything but I could see his eyes following me.

"How're you feeling?" I asked softly.

"Been better." He responded. Kuza groaned slowly as he pushed himself to sit up. He was shirtless, making the bandages over his shoulder visible. They were just changed before I came in here. "I would've been better if I had you here with me last night." He said.

"I'm sorry. I was busy scrubbing pig blood and cow shit off of me." I numbly joked and sat down on the side of his bed. "You would not believe the shit I saw yesterday. This girl, who was supposedly possessed, was tearing apart the town. I didn't think it was real until I got there. She really was possessed. She levitated shit with her mind, threw all of us back about fifty feet."

"I always miss out on the fun missions." Kuza replied, "Did you kill her?"

"Yeah. Ryan-Ashley cut off her head. They did try an exorcism first though. Didn't work, obviously, but while they had her held down, she... said some things, about Ricky and I. And you." I hesitantly told him.

"Me? What did she say?"

"She called you The Devil. Not directly, but she said she knew I cheated on Ricky the night before and that I fucked The Devil. He didn't believe her, actually, until she said that she knew what Ricky did in Paris and that he didn't trust me. Obviously if she knew what I did, she wasn't lying that he did something. I just..." I sighed heavily, "I have no idea what to say to him. If I confront him about it, that means I'm admitting she was right about what she said."

"You are talking about the same man that turned on you and got all of us put in ADX. He's got a history of being two faced. I don't care if you tell him and you shouldn't either. After all he did to you, the bastard better learn to forgive you doing one shitty thing to him."

I raised my eyebrow at him, "One? Just one? You do remember what we did to him in Nevada, right?"

"He deserved it then and apparently he's done something to deserve it now. The one thing he doesn't deserve is you." He replied.

Kuza set his hand on my exposed leg. I was wearing a long dress but it had a slit clean up the side. He ran his hand along my fishnet tights. I hate admitting how much it shook me. He still turns me on even when I don't want him to. It's always when I try to push him away that he has to turn on that evil charm.

"And you do? You broke my back. Or did you think I forgot about that?" I sneered.

"I unfortunately didn't, but I wish I could have. I thought revenge was what I needed but it wasn't. What I really needed was your forgiveness." He raised his hand to my jawline softly, "I thought I had it but I don't think you ever did forgive me."

"I forgive but I do not forget." I replied, "Just because Ricky has hurt me more than you did doesn't make you any better than him."

"I'm not and I'm not trying to say I am. All I'm trying to say is that he's not worth your time. That doesn't mean I am though. I know I've fucked up and I don't deserve you either. I just want you to know that I will always be here for you. I will never turn on you again like that."