Sanity: The Saw Chronicles [C]

Chapter 35 | The Devil In I

"Let's go." I demanded of Ricky as I opened his office.

He's not too keen on the idea of being told what to do. However, since he's trying to win me over again, he's behaving. With a sigh, he pushed himself away from his desk. "Where?" He asked.

"You'll see." I responded, heading back down the hall.

Though I needed him with me, I wasn't going to wait for him. You could probably apply that same sentence to our marriage. He can't choose now to wake up and start giving a shit about me again. I don't care if he was possessed or infected by this evil... whatever it is. Maybe if he hadn't started acting like a dick in the first place, he wouldn't have been attracted to him. Yes, I know I'm being unreasonable. When you're pissed at someone, it's easy to fault them for anything and everything.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked as he struggled to keep up with me, "Why are you suddenly pissed at me again?"

"Why didn't you tell me about what you did to Manson and Twiggy?" I snapped at him.

He lost his words in shock. Yeah, fucker, I just caught you in one of your many lies. "What exactly do you think I did?"

"Think? I know you did it. They would have no reason to lie to me." I replied, "You tortured Manson, you made Ryan torture him, so he'd tell you where Twiggy was. Then you sent him to one of the most dangerous prisons in the states."

"And he was the most dangerous one in there!" He responded, "A week after he was put in Terre Haute, the inmate suicide rate when up forty percent. Don't you dare tell me that was just coincidence. He's a different kind of dangerous than you are. I wouldn't expect you to understand though."

I stopped at the clearance door, turning to him with my arms crossed, "Understand what exactly?"

Ricky sighed, "There are things in this world that you can't see, and you can't control. I don't even know what they are because I'm just a pawn in a very big game of fates. All I know is that I'm the pawn they use to keep those things in check."

I stared at him for a moment with contempt in my eyes. "Is that why you married me? Am I one of those things you have to 'keep in check'?"

"Yes, but that's not the reason I married you. I married you because I love you, and because I don't want those things to hurt you." Ricky set his hand on my arm but I shrugged it off. He gestured towards the door, "I take it you're bringing me to see Kuza?"

Silently, I swiped my key card through the door's lock. I glanced over at him and tried to forget my anger. "You tell me there's things I don't understand. Well, you don't understand what they've done to him. You have to see it for yourself. I know you don't love him like I do, but I just want you to imagine how you'd feel if it was someone you loved."

Ricky didn't say anything. He's back to himself but in the process, he's let so many lies slip. I should've known better. You can't trust a cop, even a glorified one. I fell in love with a cheat. He probably feels the same way about me. Yet, he keeps on loving me and trying to make this better. That's what makes it so damn hard. Just let me hate you, goddamn it! We have a fucking dysfunctional relationship.

All of the others were pretty happy when Kuza and I started to see each other as more than just fuck buddies. The trust is, up until Ricky gave me a reason to need someone else to love, Kuza and I were a mess together. Things change, I suppose. The amount of push and pull our relationship had suffered should have never led to us falling in love.

I led him up to the door. Though the guard probably should've said something about no other visitors, he didn't. Ricky could probably fire him with the wave of his hand.