Sanity: The Saw Chronicles [C]

Chapter 40 | Goosebumps

Kuza instantly reverted back to the way he was when he was in solitary. It was like he was a three year old once again. He clung to me as if I was his mother. When I had to take care of him like this, I felt like a mother. No wonder mine blew herself away. Being chained down like this sucks. I love him though and that's why I'm staying by his side.

"Please don't leave again." He muttered while his forehead rested against my shoulder, "I don't wanna be alone."

I gently ran my hand over his hair to try to soothe him, "I'm not going anywhere, Sweetie. Don't worry."

"You said that before and then you left." He responded.

"I know, and that was wrong of me. I thought you'd be okay. I'm sorry I was so stupid." I kissed the top of his head.

"It's okay." Mike squeezed my hand, "Just please don't do it again."

"I promise I won't. Now, how about we both try to get ourselves some sleep?"

He shook his head, "I don't wanna."

"Well," I sighed, "What do you want to do?"

Kuza lifted his head up. He placed both his hands on my arms and laid me back. His lips found mine. It wasn't that he was trying to get laid as much as he wanted comfort. I rested my hand on the side of his face to give him just that. Kuza was tired from his near heart attack. Once he spent the last of his energy kissing me for about ten minutes, he laid his head on my chest and drifted off.

He wasn't the calmest sleeper anyone. He'd bawl up his fists or make small whimpers. What this thing has done to my poor baby has broke my fucking heart. Why was I so selfish to leave him? I thought he was better. I thought... I didn't think, actually. I wasn't using my head and look what happened. Not only did I lose my husband but I almost lost my lover too. Ryan's right; I need to get my shit together.

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The next morning, I was awoken by the sounds of glass tapping against glass. Kuza was still sound asleep and clung to me like a koala bear. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes and located Ryan around the room. He was at one of the many tables cluttering the place. Bottles of chemicals were strewn about it, making him really look like a mad scientist.

He turned around and looked directly at me. Either it was luck or he actually knew I woke up. I'm going with the latter, despite the fact that I barely made a noise. He just knows when people are awake or when they're around him. It's impossible to sneak up on him.

"Good, you're up." Ryan said as he turned back to his table, "Ricky's on his way down to see you right now. He said it's urgent."

"What the fuck does he want?" I groaned.

Kuza hadn't even budged. I actually had to glance over to his monitors to make sure his heart was still beating, which is thankfully was. He was so cuddly. I didn't want to move but I had to. As gently as I could, I slipped out from beneath him. That made him stir a little, only for him to go right back to sleep. He's pretty fucking adorable for a psychopath.

I rushed to get myself in some jeans and a t-shirt. Ricky doesn't deserve to see me in a nightgown after being such an ass last night. I know I was the one in the wrong but I'm still calling bullshit on the whole thing. We were going to forgive each other. Then he decided he didn't feel like it, I guess.

"I don't want you to wake Mike. So, just go talk to him in the hall." Ryan said.

He reached over to a panel and hit the button that unlocked the inner door. I gently kissed my demonic angel on the head before leaving the room. Ryan said all that matters is that he's not alone and I hope to Satan that's true. The amount of guilt I feel for what happened last night is indescribable. If it had resulted in Ricky and I getting back together, it wouldn't be so bad. However, I ended up hurting Kuza for no fucking reason.