Sanity: The Saw Chronicles [C]

Chapter 6 | Meaning

Kuza and I didn't sleep together last night, in case you were wondering. He gave me a lap down, we made out a little, and that was it. We both knew that was way beyond enough and we just needed to get a little frustration out. I went back to Ricky and I's room long after I knew he had gone to bed. It wouldn't have been good to run into him after all of that.

No matter how mad we get at each other, we still can't stand to be away from each other. We are addicted to each other's physical existence. I might have been pissed but I still snuggled right up to him. He tightened his arm around my waist and we fell asleep together like normal.

The next morning he was getting up at the crack of dawn to run his usually challenge courses. You know, the whole spiel that you see in the army movies of climbing rock walls and crawling through mud. He actually goes down to the barracks and does shit like that. I don't need to hop through tires when I have heels sharp enough to pop them, thank you very much. I guess for him, it's just in his nature.

Speaking of my heels, they clicked along a cement floor as walked inside a room full of unconscious bodies. Mike was already here, making sure chains were secure. I brought in Manson to introduce him to the pons of our game. It's hard to see now, when they laid unconscious like this. Who they truly were lied behind their closed eyes.

"Who are they?" He asked me.

"Victims." I replied simply.

"Who are they to you?" He questioned just as my feet stopped in front of Sonny's head.

I raised my lip as I felt the reflections of the past coming on. "Traitors." I said.

The side of a pistol was less than intimidating to me. Deegan had the barrel pressed to my temple but it barely phased me. What would be so fucking bad about having my brains blown out? I have no one left. My siblings, but they'd be better off without me. I'm their sole caretaker. If I die, they have a chance of going to a nice foster home.

Blankly, I stared off at the empty street in front of me. We were in his shitty car in the shittiest part of town. It was the projects. Where else would a hooker be? My house was on the other side of town but he doesn't know where I live. I usually just get him to drop me off at the bus stop but I didn't even manage to get that this time. He was pissed at me for turning someone down tonight.

"I need to get home. So you want me to suck your cock or can I go now?" I numbly muttered.

"The fuck you got waiting for you at home?" He quietly scorned, "You got a fucking baby daddy or something?"

I glanced over at him with dead eyes. Normally I don't let him in my personal life but I wasn't in the mood for his yelling tonight. "My kids." I responded.

It took a moment to process. He just stared for a moment as if he was deciding if I was a liar or not. Deegan lowered his Glock hesitantly. He was a fucking pussy. He's never shoot me because I'm still one of his best bitches. I pushed open the car door and started to step out.

"You really gonna walk?" He called after me.

"Yep." I responded, slamming the door shut.

Deegan was unstable tonight. I think he was out on coke but I didn't pay attention enough to decide whether that was true or not. It was about five miles to the nearest bus stop. I was walking in high wedged boots but fuck it. The sun was starting to come up because it was about five in the morning. I needed to get home.

Halfway through my walk, a car started to creep on me. It doesn't bother me like it would most girls. I glanced over at the shitty Impala that looked like it was ready to be sent to the junkyard. The color was faded, as was expected. Faded could define the old heroine act behind the wheel. I call him only but he just looks only. Jonny was one of my regulars but I hadn't seen him in awhile. Figured he had OD'ed or something.