If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends
(Gotta get with my friends)
Make it last forever, friendship never ends
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is"
- Spice Girls, 'Wannabe'
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“Penis!”
Oh, God. Not now.
“Penis, penis, penis, PENIS!”
Shit. “Junior! Shut up!” I hissed, stomping my foot on the ground angrily. Not now. Please, God, don’t make this happen right now.
My stepbrother threw back his head and laughed before cupping his hands to his mouth and screaming, “What, Hunter? You don’t want people knowing about the PENIS that is on your cell phone?” He cackled some more.
Shit. It was happening now.
For the record, there was not a penis on my cell phone. There never was a penis on my cell phone. That was just my older stepbrother doing what he did best:
Solidifying my hatred for him.
“For the love of God, Junior, shut your fucking mouth!” I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him down the center aisle and out of the Cathedral that we were standing in, trying to avoid the eyes of all of the people that were staring angrily at us. “What the fucking hell, Junior! Are you trying to get me thrown in hell?”
He laughed some more, loudly. “You’re already going there.”
I scowled at him.
Junior stopped his hysterics and looked down on me smugly, folding his tuxedo-clad arms across his chest. “I know all about you and Louis Tomlinson,” he smirked at me mischievously.
Oh, fuck.
Now the entire world was going to know how I ruined my best friend’s wedding.
XOXOXO
For the record, it wasn’t my idea to make Louis fall in love with me. It wasn’t even my idea to make Louis even like me. And believe me, I was surprised that he did. The entire plan was my friend, Eleanor’s. She and Louis had been dating for a little while and she was for some reason convinced that he was cheating on her.
“He has to be cheating on me!” she had wailed one Thursday night at my apartment, tugging at her light brown hair. We were both students at Oxford University, which meant that we had to do some serious shit to keep up with our studies. That pretty much meant that I spent the majority of my time studying. I loved partying as much as the next person (even though my idea of partying was probably nothing compared to the average college students’), but my mother would destroy me if I didn’t get good grades. It was bad enough that my older stepbrother, Junior, was as dumb as bricks and my oldest stepbrother, Richie, had no intent in getting a high-paying job.
I had never met Louis before, meaning that I was in no position to either confirm or deny those rumors. Eleanor would always rage on and on about how he had a super busy schedule and that girls were always flinging themselves at him, which made me believe that it may have been true, but everyone else (meaning Eleanor’s other friends) said that Louis was the greatest guy that they had ever met. Apparently he was a big deal to many people who lived in London.
“Why would he be cheating on you?”My real roommate, Keller, asked. Keller wasn’t a big fan of Eleanor, which was easy to understand. Eleanor was one of those girls that always had to have the focus on her, no matter what the topic was. It wasn’t that Eleanor was a bad person, but she was sometimes too difficult to be around.
