"I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me."
- Cheap Trick, 'I Want You to Want Me'
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I had been talking to Hollister for the last five hours.
Not continuously, of course, but there had definitely been some intense conversation taking place. Mainly about Louis. Because it really wasn't like I had anyone else in England to talk to and my friends back home were on a different schedule and they weren't all as accepting to my impromptu phone calls as my mom was. Besides, even though I hate to admit it, Hollister was decent to talk to.
I'd like to never speak to her again because of the Zayn Malik thing, but still.
Well, I'd never speak to her after that day.
"But you really can't blame me, right?" I asked her as I spread my books all over the floor to the apartment so that I could actually get some sort of studying done. The Romanian anti-love spells were fun and all, but I didn't think that they were working. "I mean, it's kind of Louis's fault for being such a nice person towards me. He should have just called me a freak and walked off the night when I grabbed his wontons."
Hollister didn't- well, you understand now that Hollister is a dog and isn't going to do anything exciting. Or helpful. Or judgmental, which was why I was talking to her.
"And I don't even know what it is about him that makes me so attracted to him in the first place. I mean, yeah, he's attractive, but there are a ton of attractive people here. And Louis is funny but there are also funny people at Oxford, like Niall, and I don't want to date Niall!" That was true. Nothing against Niall or anything, but I had no intention of ever dating him. "It's just something about Louis that just draws me to him!" I moaned, collapsing backwards and pressing a pillow over my face.
I couldn't see Hollister but I'm pretty sure that she didn't do anything different.
"I just wish that I knew what it was about him that makes him so appealing. There's got to be just one thing that he has that no one else does," I let out a frustrated sigh. "Maybe it's his long eyelashes. Or how even though he makes fun of me he always makes sure that he doesn't hurt my feelings."
Hollister made a gagging noise so I lifted the pillow to make sure that she wasn't dying. She wasn't. She was just choking on the cookie that I had given her. And she wasn't actually choking choking, in case you were concerned. There was no immediate danger.
But her gagging did snap me back to my senses.
"That's it!" I exclaimed, shooting upright like a rocket. "I'm just going to go and find whatever it is about Louis and de-sensitize myself to it. That way I won't have to like him anymore. Goodness, I am so brilliant."
The dog gave me her signature bitchy look. Okay, so maybe Hollister was judging me. But it wasn't like that changed me talking to her.
And I was not about to let a dog bring my mood down (again). "This is perfect. And now that I have a valid reason to leave my apartment and not stalk out and avoid 99.9 percent of humanity, I can solve so many problems. Maybe I'll even go and apologize to Zayn for whatyou did to him," I waved a finger at the toy poodle. "So you can give me that smug little look all you want, Hollister, but I just solved all of my problems, so you can suck it."
