"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"
- The Pussycat Dolls,'Don't Cha (feat. Busta Rhymes)' ----------------------- in Louis’s bed at Louis’s apartment wearing Louis’s clothes. This is normal.
I’m in Louis’s bed at Louis’s apartment wearing Louis’s clothes. This is normal.
I’m in Louis’s bed at Louis’s apartment wearing Lou-
Oh, who the hell was I trying to kid? There was absolutely nothing normal about the situation, and no matter how many times I repeated it to myself it still didn’t sound like some casual, blasé comment that you would tell the girlfriend of the guy that you just spent the night with. And you were wearing his clothes and sitting in his bed at his place but it was totally normal.
I pushed myself up in Louis’s bed and ran my hand through my tangled mass of morning-after hair. Only it wasn’t the kind of morning-after hair that I got from having a wild night with a random stranger. Although that kind of did happen last night. Just not in the fun way that you would expect.
Alright, Hunter. Louis was going to come in there eventually and tell you that he was taking you back to the campus. Then you would have to explain to Keller- in vivid detail- about everything that went on that night before devising a plan to make sure that Eleanor never found out about what happened. That meant that I was going to have to convince Louis to keep his trap shut.
‘Oh, hey, Louis, do you mind not telling your girlfriend that I ever saw you last night?’ Yeah, that sounded like a good line.
I heard the front door to the apartment open. Or ‘flat,’ as they called it over there. It must have been Louis. He had attempted to wake me up to tell me something about how he was going to get bread, but I wasn’t paying attention. Besides, had he never heard of grocery shopping before? Stocking up once was easier than going to the store every day. That was why I had my Sams Club Member Card back home.
“Lou! I’m back!”
Holy squash, that was not Louis.
Whoever it was sounded like they were running down the hall. Suddenly, the door to the room swung open and someone jumped on top of me, screaming “LOUIIIISSSSS I MISSSEEDDDDD YOUUUUUUUU!”
I pulled the duvet up over my head and curled into the fetal position.
“LOUIS THIS IS NOT THE WAY THAT YOU GREET YOUR LOVER!” the person yelled, jabbing their fingers into me. It was The Roommate. What was his name again? It was some sort of old-man –name. Wow. After Alan/Allen, I didn’t know if I could handle another one of those. And apparently he wore a lot of wool. It must have been an old person.
“I’m not Louis!” I exclaimed from under the sheets, trying to shove whoever it was off of me.
The person stopped stabbing their fingers into my side but didn’t move from their position on top of me. “I should have known, Louis is a much bigger lard than you.” Um, thanks? “So, how’s it going, Eleanor?”
Shit, he thought that I was Eleanor. I wonder how long that was going to last. If he knew Eleanor’s name then he probably knew what she looked like and it’s a scientifically proven fact that people will never mistake me for my gorgeous friend.
“Oh, you know, pretty well.” Maybe if I hid under the covers long enough then whoever it was would lose interest and go away. I was trying to draw the least amount of attention to myself as possible. Not to mention, it’s highly inappropriate for someone to sit on top of another person, even if whoever it was already knew Eleanor. What kind of weird shit was going on in there?
