Missing Halo | bts + k.th

Nightmare

What's the difference between dream and reality? What's the difference between nightmare and reality? How do you know which one is real? Well, reality is obviously real because it has the word real in it, duh!

Stupid.

       What if we're living in a nightmare and reality is just a dream? What if we're living in a dream and reality is just a nightmare? Or what if nightmare is reality? What would dream be, then? Is everything fake? Is the world around us even real? What if we're all just stuck in our heads? In too deep?

Thinking too much.

       How do we stop thinking? Well, we could put a gun to our head, that's one option.

Jin slammed his notebook shut this time. His head hurt from thinking and his hand hurt from writing. How do we stop thinking, again? Oh yes, we put a gun to our head. Jin walked over to his dresser and opened the sock drawer. He pulled out a small handgun. It was already loaded.

He sat on the edge of his bed and lifted the weapon to his right temple. His finger pressed against the trigger as he closed his eyes. He took a deep breath.

Bang!

-

Jin's eyes flew open. His vision began to adjust to the darkness of his bedroom. He turned over. The clock read 2:56AM. He grunted and shoved his face into his pillow. Then, he remembered the dream.

He suddenly sprang up out of bed and threw open his sock drawer. There it was. There was the weapon. He took it in his grasp and walked calmly back to his bed.

Jin lifted the gun up to his temple, just as he had done in the dream. His finger pushed against the trigger which was waiting to be pulled. But he didn't move. He just remained in that still position for the next five minutes. Tears began to fill his eyes. Why was he doing this, again? Oh right, because his father was gone and he was stuck taking care of his ill mother. That's why.

He found himself slowly lowering the gun from his head. He couldn't so easily leave his mom like that. No, not when she needed him the most. He knew he only had so much time with her before she would pass. Then, he would be completely alone. He had no one else to call family.

Jin wiped the tears from his eyes and stuffed the weapon back into his sock drawer. He ran out of his bedroom and down the hall. The door to his mothers room flew open and he busted in. His mother began to wake at the sound of his presence.

"Jin? What are you doing up-"

"Can I sleep in here tonight?"

"Um, sure. Just get a blanket and sleep on the floor-"

"No. I-I want to sleep with you. Like I did when I was young."

His mom didn't respond. Even though he was in high school, he felt that he was never too old to sleep with his mother. Especially when she had such little time...

"Okay..."

Jin climbed in bed and curled up next to her. Her warmth made him feel better, already.

"Why are you up so late," his mother croaked.

"I-I had a bad dream," he whispered.

"About what? You shouldn't worry about anything. Not when life is so short."

"Reality."