Missing Halo | bts + k.th

Lies

      It's time to let her go. She's been suffering long enough. Put her out of her misery, let her fly away. I'm trapped in my own thoughts, things that I make up. I'm caught in my own lies.

She's dying.

I know that.

So why tell myself otherwise?

       False hope? Maybe it's just me trying to build a truth out of lies. A skyscraper constructed out of sand. When she does fly away, let me fly away with her. I can't be alone. Not anymore. Loneliness is silence, and silence hurts the most. Let me disappear with her. I can't bare seeing her leave me. Not yet. I haven't apologized for all my wrong doings. For all my imperfections.

       Let me rest in peace with her, let's become angels and fly away. I can't stand losing her. I can't be stuck here by myself. Though, maybe she'll watch over me. She can be my guardian angel and slay all my demons. Kill all my troubles. Then, I can fly away with her, because she would have to kill me to free me.

      Jin woke up in a soft bed. The room was dark, the air was silent. There was no noise to fill the room other than the sound of his own heavy breathing. He stared up at the ceiling, wanting to clear his mind. Everything was going to be okay. Life goes on...

      He was in his mothers room. In his mothers bed. Curled up next to his mother. His mother who wasn't moving. His mother who wasn't breathing. He knew she wasn't. He knew she was gone.

      He let the tears fall from his eyes. Why was he sad? He had been expecting this to happen ever since he heard the news. It was only a matter of time...

      Jin remained still. He didn't move. Neither did the person next to him. They couldn't move, even if they wanted to. They were gone.

      Jin took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He had done it. He had let her go, right? No, not completely. And he never would.

      He climbed out of bed and stretched. He was calm. He wasn't panicked. He was ready to die and fly away with her.

      Jin didn't bother calling anyone. Not even the police. He just got dressed, grabbed his backpack, and headed out the door. He was okay with wherever life took him. Now, he was sort of just... Breathing. He didn't care about anything, anymore. No, there was nothing to care about.

Everything was gone. Everything seemed to grow wings and fly away, leaving him in the dust. Everyone was an angel and he was left in hell.