stay strong (1D fanfic)

chapter 13~ let it out

since Harry came to talk to me last week we've spent every day together. We've gone bowling, ice skating (I almost died) and we did alot of little things just like saying up all night talking, watching films and cuddling, having tickle fights!  he's just the best guy friend ever.  And since he's been there for me I decided to agree to chemio therapy, I'm going to the hospital next week to start the treatment, I'll have to stay there for 12 months tops but I'll be able to have days off with friends,  but the thing I hate the most is that I'll loose my hair which reaches all the way down to my butt and will take ages to grow back. Since I've had Harry by my side I've finally found a reason to live and if it wasn't for him I wouldn't take chemio therapy. I had a sleepover at they boys' house and I just woke up alone on the sofa but I heard voices coming from the kitchen,  I planned on creeping up on them and scaring them but their conversation sounded interesting "so have you asked her out yet?" Liam asked. oh god is Harry thinking of asking me out?! my stomach is doing flips and my heart is beating like a drum  "no not yet, but I'm planning on doing it tonight" I could tell that Harry was probably smiling and so was I "what's her name again?" Liam asked does he really dislike me enough to forget my name?  "Jade she's so beautiful!'' and when he said those words I felt a sharp pain in my chest my heart seemed to stop and once again I felt crushed why do I let guys do this to me? well he never actually said he had any feelings for you. my subconscious reminded me. But it still hurts as hell. I just stroll into the kitchen putting on my best fake smile "good morning boys" I said 'cheerily' "hello sleeping beauty" Harry replied and walked over to me wrapping his arms around me, but it doesn't feel the same anymore, it doesn't mean anything to me anymore,  it's just a friendly hug. He picks me up and spins me around I hit his back asking him to put me down, I don't hit him hard it's just delicate play fighting,  even though he broke my heart without even knowing about it, I still couldn't hurt him because nothing will hurt as bad as a broken heart; it's like having broken ribs, no one can see it but it hurts every time I breathe. When Harry finally puts me down I turn away and start making breakfast, or in other words grabbing an apple,  Jaz walks in with a huge smile on her face "hey! I feel like we haven't talked in ages" that's because we haven't. "it does doesn't it" I smile "well me and Niall are going out tonight and he's brining his cousin James with him so I was wondering if.." I already knew what she meant "sure I'll go" I reply, surprising myself and every one else in the room "cool wear a dress we're going to some fancy place. Come to my room-she moved in with the boys- at 6 and we can get ready together, just like the old times" she smiled " sure. I'll go home now and I'll get all the stuff I need and I'll be here at 6" I was still fake smiling and I got up heading to the living room to get my stuff I sneaked a look at Harry he looked kind of.... upset about me going to meet a guy but then again he has a girl he never told me about. I walk home thinking about all the possibilities of what could happen in my life, you could get married and have kids, travel the world, you could be happy Yeah well when ever I try to be happy life just throws some thing at me just to make sure that I don't achieve what I want. When I get back I head straight to my room without even saying hi to Ann or any of the kids, but when my back hits the bed I hear sobbing in the corner of my room, I look up to find Lillie crying and I quickly rush over to her to make sure she's ok " what's wrong?" she looked up at me with puffy eyes and she reminded me of how I used to be;  broken and alone "the kids are being mean again. They said that my parents hated me and ditched me here because they didn't want me" she sobbed even more and I couldn't help but break; I haven't cried for months always faking a smile so people thought that I was fine well I'm finally letting out all the tears that I kept in all this time and to be honest,  it feels great to let it out.

A.N ~ I know it's not very long but I've been busy so I just made sure I updated. Anyway thanks for reading my lovely potatoes xx