I woke up to find Luke already awake, looking at me. His eyes were scanning my wrist before finding their way back to my face and a small frown was replacing his usual smile. I looked away, unsure of what I should say.
"Please never do it again. I can see that you've done it before. You're gonna be left with more scars. You'll still be beautiful to me but people might notice and use it against you" I knew that he was right but it was a little too late for that. I already did it. I can't go back and change that. His hand found it's way to mine and he looked closely at my arm. He began tracing each white line on my wrist and all I could do was ask
"What are you doing?" the frown was still present on his flawless face.
"I'm counting your scars"
"Why?"
"To see how many times you needed someone but no one was there"
"I can simply answer that. There were more lonely nights filled with tears and self hatred than there are marks on my skin." He stopped tracing the small marks and looked into my eyes.
"Your mind is filled with beautiful thoughts and your mouth is filled with beautiful words. You just don't let them escape" I knew that what he said was true. I often ranted about the world and poor Jaz had to listen to it all. But she said that my thoughts were always intriguing and creative. She didn't mind listening but that's only because she knew that she was the only one who would want to spend the night just talking to me with a hot drink and our favourite soundtracks playing while we talked the night away.
"Luke, my thoughts are far from beautiful"
"To me they're the most beautiful thoughts anyone could create" I gave in and crashed my lips into his. It was a deep, passionate kiss which was supposed to make me forget all my problems but in the back of my mind there was a little voice telling me that his lips were like poison compared to others that I once kissed. The lips that were my cure for all sickness. My antidote for all the pain. That one set of lips which my own still crave for are not the ones they'll be kissing tonight. And it hits me at random moments. I'm with Luke now. It's his lips that matter. So soft and sweet, a lullaby for me. These two boys who are causing a battle between my mind and my heart are completely different but a few small things connect them; like the way they look at me when they sing on stage, the way their dimples show when they smile, the way they laugh at my awful jokes and many more little things. So why is it so hard to decide between my heart and my mind?
A.N ~ So.... Update! yay! It's exactly 4:33am and I'm updating because who the hell needs sleep. Anyway thanks for reading my lovely potatoes! xx
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stay strong (1D fanfic)
FanfictionNikki was once a normal teenage girl, but one day every thing came falling down. And that day just had to be her birthday.
