Rumour Has It ( Savage MC Book One)

chapter seventeen- you are never weak in any decision you make. Ever.

It was a week after my birthday and I was back in the compound. It was  midday on a Saturday and I had the day off. Everyone seemed to be buzzing around the compound today in the rare occasion that nothing was pulling people away for business to be sorted. Instead it seemed a meeting was being held in a room here. Thats what I assume it was anyways. All I had to go on was when Pin was playing with Fiachra earlier and suddenly got up and said,"we've got church now, bud. I'll be back in a while" and disappeared into a room with the other bikers.

Now I was in the kitchen with Layla drying dishes as she washed.
"It'll get easier" she broke the silence taking me out of my thoughts. 
"What?" I asked in confusion. She turned to me and dropped her voice.
"Seeing them together. It'll get easier" she said softly and instantly I knew what she was refering to. This morning when I had come into the compound Cut and his woman Jessica were  fairly going at it on the couch in the main room. To say it hurt to see them together would be an understatement.
"I'm fine" I smiled back at her, although I can only assume it was not a convincing one from the sympathy that took over her face. "I am, honestly.  We haven't been anything in a long time. It doesn't faze me" I shrugged.
"You have a child together" she pointed out softly.
"Something I hear Jessica wasn't too happy with" I said back. From what I heard the conversation between Cut and Jessica about me and Fiachra ended in them needed a whole new set of cutlery for their kitchen as some plates and glasses just happened to collide with the walls.
"You can't blame her, I'd feel threatened by that too" Layla responded in kind.  I didn't respond and we fell into a comfortable silence.
I was ripped from my thoughts and the silence that had fallen back over the kitchen when a  sudden hush came over the main room.  Layla and I left the kithen to inspect what was happening. 
Standing around the room was our biker men and women of the club while a new group had just walked through the door of the meeting room into the main area. I recognised the cuts immediately from a time way back. An instant chill set through me as the three men in fronts faces came into view.
A crash sounded through the room breaking the silence and causing everyone to turn my way. Looked down dazed I saw that I had dropped the plate in my hands and it had shattered to millions of pieces below me.
"Well well well, little Millie" I knew that voice. I couldn't forget that voice if I tried and I had spent years trying. Without my permission my gaze rose to look at the three men who now wore smug expressions on their faces as they looked me up and down. Hook, Saw and Blade. Blade was the first to address me, I wasn't surprised; he had been the leader in that little Jacks  trio.
"Looking good as ever Millie, not much has changed in eight years." Hook laughed while looking me up and down. I felt like I was going to throw up,  this couldn't be happening. I felt like I was in a daze. I could feel the tension thick in the room from the Savage bikers, I knew they were wondering what connection was there between me and the Jacks. It was known that I wouldnt have associated with them.
"Millie..?" I heard Layla say softly in question beside me.  I involuntarily took a step back.
"I need to.."I started in a voice that held so much fear and weakness I knew later when I came back to myself I would be angry that it had shown. 
"Not even a hug for old times sake?" Saw opened his arms wide while smiling a cruel smirk at me. Without paused I turned and fled the room. Slamming into the kitchen I searched for my keys.
" Mill...Mill... calm down, stop! Millie look at me what was that?" Layla had grabbed my hands and forced me to turn toward her.
"Why. Are. They. here?" I practically screeched.
"Jesus, Darling, you're shaking like a leaf what was that?" Pin asked getting close. I became aware of the whole club filing into the kitchen.
"They're gone, Hun. Deep breaks okay?  Switch sent them away" Tara said softly, her focus solely on me. Everyone's focus was solely on me, it was starting to suffocate me.
"You don't associate with...why would you..."I stumbled over my words, confused.
"Jonathans been a busy man" was all Buck said but it was all he needed to say to paint the whole picture for me. Fucking,  fucking Jonathan.
"I..I..I need to..to.." I stammered. Everyone started to look extremely worried.
"Jesus christ sit her down" Switch said and someone grabbed a chair and lowered me into it. Over and over someone told me to take deep breaths and relax until eventually the shaking went out of my body.
"Cup of tea there, girl" Pin handed me a cup and I instantly felt it's heat sooth me.
"Millie?" I looked up. Swith stood in front of me. "Can you explain what happened out there?"
I shook my head violently but the memories of that night started to slowly trickle into my head.  Tears spilled from my eyes without me knowing it and soft mutters of 'no' left my lips over and over again, a hush under my breath.
"What the fuck?" Buck whispered. I wasn't aware of myself. Different crashing images over took my head. Then it broke through what I had to do. It was time to visit the past.
"I told you" I said firmly and everyone froze and braced because there was sudden strength in my voice. I took a deep breath and looking up make eye contact with everyone in the room.
" I told you I would never cheat on you, Luke. You wouldn't listen. God I tried and you wouldn't fucking listen. None of you would!" I stared them all down.
The tension that ripped through the room could suffocate a person.
"You were everything to me. You guys were my family, all I ever wanted in this world. And I was yours! You hurt one of us, you hurt all of us" I said fiercely, looking at Cut I could see the emotions ripping across his face.
"They knew that too" I whispered as images played before of eyes of the night when it all fell apart.
"I told you...I told you..." I whispered shaking my head ruefully.