Cute Things: A Namjin story <3

Part 5: Even Fix Myself

~Seokjin POV~

Did I really just break down this purple softy's arms? Did I really agree to pizza? I must have a fever or be sick. Maybe I should take some ibuprofen.

"Well, here we are." He says, pulling me from my thoughts. We enter through a cute picket fence gate. His house is small but inviting. It's kind of like a fairytale cottage. Maybe he is actually a prince in hiding? That's a funny thought. Then would I be the villain?

"What's so funny?" He asks, taking in my expression. "Oh nothing, your house is just cute." I respond, giving a small smile. "Oh thank you. My mother loves small houses so we moved here." He smiles, his dimples showing. "Oh so you live with your mom?" I ask. His smile drops but he finds it again quickly. "I used to. She passed away a few months ago. My dad helps support me because I wanted to finish high school here. I also got a roommate but he's like never home and very to himself." He says, taking in my expression as we enter through the doorway. Oh he's lost a parent too? "I'm so sorry. My situation is similar. I lost my dad though and I live by myself." I say.

Idiot why are you telling him about your life? He doesn't care.

He frowns and gives me an apologetic pat on the shoulder. He takes our stuff and goes into another room that I assume is his. He then walks towards through the living room to the kitchen. His house really is cute though. There's little Knick knacks and cute photos hung every where. He must get that weird cute thing from his mom then. As I walk into the kitchen taking in each detail of the room, he hangs up the phone. "Okay pizza will be here in a half an hour. Wanna watch a movie till then?" He asks, his dimples showing.

Is he trying to play me? I raise an eyebrow and then smirk. "You're not trying to Netflix and chill are you?" I ask, my voice smooth. He laughs. "No, the movie will just be an excuse so we can talk-" I cut him off. "You mean fuck?" I say, smiling deviously. He rolls his eyes at me and trudges back to the living room. Is he serious though? Does he really just want to "talk"?

He picks out some random comedy movie and has me sit next to him. Once the movies on, he then turns to me looking as excited as a gossiping 12 year old girl. "So, now we can talk." He says, his dimples showing. I sigh. "What do you want to talk about?" I ask. "Well what can you tell me?" He asks, staring into my eyes. Ugh. I don't even know.

"Well, I can tell you that you are stupid if you think you can befriend me. I don't have any real friends." I say, indifferently. He furrows his eyebrows. "Why not?" He asks. "Obvious reasons. I use people and hurt their feelings. I like to ruin people." I answer. This just confuses him even more. "There's got to be a reason though. You don't just suddenly hurt people." He says. Can we just drop this? I try to look away but he grabs my face. He looks as though he's realized something then his face softens.

He pulls me into him. What is he doing? "Did someone hurt you? Someone must have. You want others to feel like you, don't you?" He says, whispering into my hair. I relax in his grip and hug him back. I barely tell him anything yet he knows everything? Who is he? Why does he have to come in and make me feel so weak again.

"How do you do this? You seem to know everything without me even saying anything." I say, my voice rough. He just starts rubbing my back and chuckles a little. "I'm hurt too. People react differently to pain and heart break. I became more emotional and began obsessing over things that reminded me of him. I have so many mugs I don't even use." He laughs, and continues. "You on the other hand probably gave that person everything and they never gave you anything in return. I can't believe I didn't see it earlier." He says, petting my hair. How does he even know it now? I must be very obvious.

"So, you make everyone feel like you. You take a perfectly happy, naïve person and make them feel as broken as you." As soon as he says that I can feel that familiar ache in my chest. I can feel the hollowness that's there. I feel the tears form in my eyes. Why am I so vulnerable? Why do I feel so weak.

"Don't worry you aren't weak. You're just human. As another fellow broken human, I can be there for you if you want me to. I just can't fix you. I can't even fix myself." He says, his voice rough. "Thank you." I get out. "Anytime." He answers, in a whisper. Just then the doorbell rings making us both jump. We laugh at each other. Probably the pizza.

He answers the door to a familiar little green haired boy. "Sorry, I forgot my key and I needed to grab something" He says, indifferently. "Oh sure, Yoongi." Namjoon says, letting him in. This can't be happening... The boy meets my eyes. "Oh, Seokjin nice to see you again." He says, winking. "Oh? Do you two know each other?" Namjoon says, looking back and forth between us. I say no the same time Yoongi says yes. "Well, I should be going. You seem like a very nice guy Namjoon so you don't need someone like me in your life." I say, picking up my shoes and bag. "The pizza isn't even here yet!" He exclaims. "I know, I'm sorry but I have to go." I say, feeling guilty. I just can't stay with him around here. Please understand that it's too hard for me.

"You always did run away. It's such a shame you can't handle the truth. Not everyone is gonna love you back." Yoongi says, smirking a little. I look at him and laugh. "Don't you even start. You were the one who ran from me remember? You just left me there after I gave you everything so don't bullshit me. You aren't even capable of love." I spit back, feeling stinging in my eyes. "What a fucking second, it was you? Damn, I thought you were an okay guy Yoongi." Namjoon says, disappointed. "Of course, you did. You're a softy. Even worse than princess over here." He points at me. Namjoon laughs. "If you feel that way then you can get the fuck out and never come back. And princess here will move in." He says, smiling but obviously ready to smack a bitch. "Fine, then." Yoongi says, pissed off.

Yoongi packed up his belongs and left. Our pizza arrived and we ate in silence. "Uh, thank you Namjoon." I say, looking down. "Of course." He responds. "So, we you serious about me-" "About you moving in? I was dead serious." I look up flabbergasted and he just smiles at me. "I told you I'd help you. I'm not giving up on you." He says, smiling. He can't be real? How is human?

"Jin, I'm sorry but you won't shake me that easily." He says, winking while taking a bite of pizza. Omg why is he doing this to me? Doesn't he realize I'll just be a burden?

I don't even know how to fix myself.