Cute Things: A Namjin story <3

Part 12: I Love You

~Namjoon POV~ Warning: This almost made me cry because I was listening to awake and there's also a love scene. It's cute though and not really dirty or descriptive.

Be strong. He has to know.

"I'm glad he wasn't really my first love." I say, staring right into Jin's eyes.

I have no idea where I got this sudden surge of courage from. I'm beyond nervous and I'm just trying to decipher his expression. He looks back at me confused at first. He then drops his gaze only to look back up as though he's realized something. His eyes widen and his mouth opens slightly.

Is he shocked? Is he scared? Does he understand now?

His expression softens and his lip quivers a little. Next thing I know, he launches himself at me and he's clutching himself to me. "Do you really mean that?" He asks, his voice cracking. I hug him back tightly. "Yes, I do." I murmur. I can feel his tears hitting my shoulder. "Namjoon-ah." He sniffles out. "Yes?" "I understand now. I'm afraid of loving you. I'm afraid because I love you and I don't want to lose you. I don't have anyone else and I don't need anyone else. You're the only person I feel like I need and I don't know if I like that." He says, his voice rough. He snuggles farther into my embrace.

"Jin, I love you too. And I won't leave you please... please don't run from me. I just want you. I need you and if you leave I don't know what I'm gonna do. Every loss has made me feel so broken. I feel finally like a complete person. I feel like I can love myself. I feel good enough." I say, feeling the tears brimming in my eyes. He rubs circles on my back as his tears hit my shoulder. "I know one day, I might lose you too. Whether it's because you leave me or you pass away." My voice cracks but I have to continue. "That day will finally shatter the rest of my heart. However, if I know anything, it's just the physical body that leaves Jin. Love, memories, and souls can last forever. So don't be worried about losing me because you can't. Even after this body is gone, I wouldn't be able to stop loving you." I say, my voice rough.

Jin's a sobbing mess on me. He then pull himself up and puts his hands on the sides of my damp face. His red puffy eyes staring into mine. "Namjoon." He says, then takes a breath. "At this point I don't think I'd even be able to leave you. I don't want to. I want you and want to keep you for forever. I will stay with you. I won't leave you at least not of my own will. It would just hurt too much. I don't want this love to be a painful one but it is. It's bittersweet, knowing that one day that physically seeing you and being with you will end. It's so sweet though that I at least get know what this love feels like. I could have gone through my whole life not feeling like this. I love you so much it hurts." He says, his voice cracking.

His pump lips gently meet mine and we're off. We are no longer just on Earth. It feels like we are so far away from reality and from our stress. The pain in our hearts starts to melt away and is replaced with warmth. The sparks throughout our bodies start a fire. Every nerve and every touch feels like a flame. Our kiss deepens and our lips move in sync with one another. He moves more onto my lap and wraps his arms around my neck, leaning his head down into the kiss. My hands hold his waist as I let myself get lost in his embrace.

He pulls away and looks into my eyes. There's no lust or wildness that I'm used to seeing. If I had to say what it is. It'd be pure love. "Namjoon-ah?" He questions, as he moves to leave delicate kisses along my jaw. "Hmm?" I answer. "Would you... make love to me please?" He murmurs against my skin. I feel the flames have gotten into my chest. My whole body is now on fire. He pulls back to look at my face and I smile up at him. He smiles back as I bring his lips back to mine. I'm burning up but it doesn't hurt. It feels so good. It feels so warm.

I pick him up off of my lap and gently lie him down on the soft blanket in front of the fire pit and candles. His fingers entangle themselves in my hair while his legs hook around my waist. I leave light kisses along his jaw and neck. I make sure I'm gentle and leave no marks on his milky skin. He closes his eyes and parts his lips enjoying the sensation. I carefully unbutton his top, leaving kisses as I go. Once his shirt is off, I remove mine and work on his chest and stomach. I'm making sure every part of him feels loved. I know I'll never be able to show him how much I really love him but for now this is enough.

As I kiss down his tummy, I unbutton his jeans and remove them. Then I kiss along his waist and shimmy his boxers off. I take a second to admire his fully naked body under mine. He's absolutely beautiful. He becomes shy and starts to cover his face. "You are beautiful. You have nothing to be shy about." I say, pulling his hands away. I then remove my pants and cover us with another blanket to make him feel more comfortable. I resume kissing along his waist and legs before moving to his more private areas. He losses himself in the feelings. Small gasps and sighs escape his lips. I want to make sure I don't hurt him and he's completely ready. I do my best to prepare him and it seems all his anxiety has just melted away. This is absolutely perfect.

I bring myself back up and look into his eyes. I lean in to give him a short kiss. I pull off my boxers, and now we're both naked and vulnerable. I pull him into a kiss again and he wraps a leg tighter around my waist encouraging me to continue. I ever so gently allow myself to enter him. At first his grip tightens around me and he closes his eyes tightly. I stop moving and lean down to plant kisses on his face. He slowly relaxes and opens them. He smiles up at me and brings my lips in for another kiss. I slowly start to move again, not breaking the kiss. After a minute he relaxes fully and all traces of discomfort are gone. He sighs into my mouth causing me to pick up the speed until we're in a nice rhythm.

The fire somehow feels hotter and keeps growing. I can feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge. I also feel like I'm getting closer and closer to him but still not close enough. "Namjoon-ah." He pants out. "I'm almost there." He says, as he closes his eyes lost in the feelings. I roll deeper, trying to get as close to him as possible. I pull him into a kiss and can still hear both of our muffled sounds. We both feel the fire burning through our veins. The fire finally meets the sparks and causes an explosion and we both are sent over the edge, saying each other's names as we go.

We take a second to just stare at each other in the dim light. Slowly smiles grow on both of our faces and I lay myself down next to him. We both face each other under the blanket, just staring with big smiles. "I love you." We both say at the same time causing us to start giggling like school girls. He's so perfect. My feelings are too deep for this to not be love. He starts to close his eyes reluctantly. He seems so exhausted. I snake my arm around his waist pulling him closer to me. "I'm sticky and sweaty." He says, sleepily laughing. "Your point? I am too." I say, kissing his forehead. "I love you even if you are sticky and sweaty." I say, laughing a little. "I love you too." He laughs back. We feel asleep in each other's arms.

I love you so much it hurts.