Heartless

Chapter 10: Suicidal

Evie's cries awoke me at around three in the morning, demanding for something to eat, and a new nappy, I dragged myself out of bed and headed downstairs to the spare room, which was turned into a nursery when we arrived.

Gently, I lifted her out of the cot and laid her on my chest, bouncing on my toes slightly, humming a tune, and she quickly calmed down, burbling 'mama' at me and releasing quiet protests at the lack of food. I laid her on the changing table and swapped out her dirty nappy for a clean one, using the last of the baby wipes and powder as well.

Sighing, I threw it all in the bin next to the table, and pulled a new packet of wipes and powder from the shelf above and replaced them on the table before washing my hands with anti-bac gel and heaving Evie into my arms again.

Letting my eyes become accustomed to the darkness I slowly made my way to the kitchen, my hand brushing over the couch and the doorway to assure myself that I wasn't going to bump into anything. I reached up for the cabinet which contained the plastic baby bottles and the carton of follow-on formula, and swung it open, wincing as plastic bottles clattered against the wooden counter and tiled floor.

"Shit," I whispered, as the crying began again, and I fumbled for the right bottle and nipple.

"Watch your eyes." I heard a deep voice from behind. I closed my eyes and placed a hand over Evie's as she quietened down, I heard the switch, and a few moments later I opened my eyes to see the kitchen lit up, and the mess of bottles on the floor.

"Go back to bed." Eric mumbled sleepily, wrapping his arms around my stomach and kissing the back of my neck.

I turned to see him wiping his eyes, that were still slightly red, and running a hand through his hair which was pushed up on one side by the pillow and lack of hair product, "I've got this."

Nodding, I reminded him "warm water to the seven ounce line, two scoops of formula." And headed out to the couch, I laid down, Evie resting on my stomach as I watched Eric move around the kitchen. His movements were sluggish, weighed down with sleep, or lack thereof.

I'm surprised that he put the cap back on the bottle before shaking the bottle.

After testing the formula on the inside of his wrist, and seemingly satisfied, he carefully moves Evie into his arms, Eric paced the apartment while cradling Evie, gently moving her so she could drink the milk without any issues.

It was weird seeing Eric at three in the morning, no shirt and a towel hanging from his pocket as he fed Evie, I felt like this was the realist I had seen him, and he wasn't Dauntless Leader Eric, Trainer Eric or Traitor Eric. He was just Eric.

With just under an ounce left, Evie refused to take the bottle, wordlessly, he placed the bottle on the coffee table, and took a seat on the end of the couch, leaning back slightly, he wiped the corners of Evie's mouth with the towel and then laid the it over his shoulder before propping her up slightly higher than usual and patting her back.

Once he was finished, he leant over and kissed me quickly "go to bed, I'll be up in a sec." and he disappeared into the nursery.

Smiling slightly, I turned off the kitchen light and headed back to bed, as I was sinking back into sleep I felt the bed dip, and Eric slipped in beside me.

"Is she asleep?" I mumbled, not opening my eyes as his arm incased me.

"Yeah, out like a light." He said, I felt his arm move, as I assumed he gestured to the baby monitor on my bedside table, which you could hear the occasional snuffle, and if you were to touch the screen you would see Evie peacefully sleeping.