Disregard To Danger (ManxMan)

Devoted(38)

*Monroe's P.O.V*

Stubbornness. One of the traits why I fell in love with Kendall, is now driving us apart. He just doesn't understand what it's like to have family. The need to  do anything to ensure their safety. 

Walker went for years alone, fighting in the war, as well as against his own demons. I let him do that. I see what Kendall means, but that's not how Walker handles things. Even when he was a child, he sectioned himself away from everybody. Instead of sitting with the other preschoolers, he would sit in the corner and play with his toys. That carried on until I left. The only friend he had, was Holden.  

I'm proud of Walker, and I tell him that every time that we talk. I know that he isn't proud of the things that he has done. I can tell by the look of self hate in his eyes. 

What does Kendall expect me to do? Storm to the rehab center and demand for Walker to open up to me? God, the man is having a hard enough time opening up to himself. He is immature to think that issues this large could be fixed by me visiting. 

"Monroe." A soft voice startles me out of my thoughts. I've barricaded myself into my office, not wanting to see Kendall, knowing that his wide eyes alone would make me buckle. I look up to see a sleepy Quincy standing in the door way, a hesitant look on his face. His lip pulled between his lip. His appearance makes him seem much younger than he actually is. 

"What are you still doing up? It's half passed three?" I ask him, briefly looking at the clock. He takes an unsure step into my office. I motion for him to continue, causing him to smile at me in appreciation. 

"I can ask you the same thing." The boy tries to joke. Taking a seat in the over sized leather arm chairs. Crossing his legs. 

"Work. Couldn't sleep?" This was the norm for him, I often hear him move around his room. If he does sleep, it's restless and not for long. I can understand why Kendall is worried about the boy. 

"No. I had a conversation with Kendall today, and I can't stop thinking about it." He mutters, casting his green eyes away from me. I raise an eyebrow.

"What was the conversation about?" I ask, knowing that Kendall could have said anything to him. Especially while he is upset with me. 

"About your brother. He told me that you are aware of where he is. Kendall said that he's safe, but the thought of him alone..." He stops himself. Once again biting his lip. 

"Makes you afraid right?" I ask, understanding what the boy is feeling. He nods silently. "I left when I was eighteen. Walker was still so young, if I knew what was going on behind closed doors, I wouldn't have left." I sigh, pinching my nose. "When I got word of him enlisting I started to fear for my brothers safety. He was alone, in an unknown country fighting for his life. Willingly. If I hadn't left I could have prevented this mess. Now, he's on his own once again. Maybe if I pushed harder, tried to talk with him..." I mutter. Quincy sits forward in his seat with a frown. 

"None of this is your fault. Sometimes, people have to handle things on their own. Walker wants to get better, and he has to focus to do so. Sure, the thought scares me, but that's how he handles things." He whispers. For such a young man, he understands so much.

"You aren't mad at me for keeping his location away from you?" I ask him, shocked. 

"Sure, I don't like being kept into the dark, but it's Walkers decision. He just deserves better than this." He responds. A small smile on his face. I lean back into my office chair. 

"I'm visiting him for Christmas." I tell him, causing his eyes to widen. "We decided last night. He doesn't want to come home. Fall is ending already now, and they're saying that it's about to snow. I've already missed too many Christmases with him." 

"That is amazing to hear. How is he?" He asks me. I smile.

"He's getting better, he hasn't opened up to the therapist but he says that he stopped having nightmares." 

"That's progress... Wait... Therapist?" He questions. I mentally curse. I forgot that he didn't know where exactly he was. Just that he was hoping to get better. 

"Well... he needed professional help." I say, still not telling him that he is in a rehab center for veterans. 

"That's understandable. Do you think he's happy?" Quincy asks, his eyes darting away from me. 

"Not right now, but he will be. He misses you." I tell him. A small smile graces his pouted lips. 

"Yeah, I miss him too. At first I was worried, but I got a letter from him, that made it real. It made us real." He says, making me admire the kid. Nobody made him wait for my brother. Somebody his age should be out hanging with friends, and meeting new people. Yet, here he was, with his heart on his sleeve. Helplessly devoted to my brother.