Disregard To Danger (ManxMan)

Sergeant walker monroe (7)

"Sergeant walker!" Xander, my best friend calls out as he enters my bunk.
"Oh shut it Xander. What are you doing here?" I ask him. He wasn't supposed to be deployed here until next month.
"I couldn't let you be all alone." He jokes. Pulling me into his arms. We've been together since the start. We were bunk mates in training. He helped me build up my muscles. Without him I would still be the same teenaged twig.
"Oh shush, you just missed me." I joke back.
"Yeah I did. Are you ready to kick some ass? I swear, I'm sick of being called to serve around Christmas. You know what the Mrs. Says." He says. Falling onto my bed. I push him aside.
"Well, first of all, she's not your Mrs yet. I'm telling you, you have to propose. She's not going to wait on you forever." I tell him. Looking at him seriously.
"You know how I feel about that." He says. He doesn't want to make her a widow. Serving our country comes with a price, and that's the risk of you not returning home. We know that like the back of our hand.
We have lost countless team mates over the passed six years. Others injured. The thought was scary, and I didn't like to think about it.
The room becomes more loud as more people arrive. Some newbies, others who I have fought beside for years. We stand up to greet them. Our mouths tight. This is our duty, but that doesn't mean that we enjoy it.
I don't regret enlisting. I would never. I've met some of the bravest people here; I've become one of them. 
We then head down to the canteen, there's banter at our table but I couldn't help but think of Home. I haven't been home for six years. I didn't want to, I've kept my promise and sent Holden letters every week. Even if they didn't include anything special. I came to the decision before coming here to finally tell him why I had to leave. So when dinner was over I walked back to my bunk alone.
I sat on my bed and pulled out my writing gear.
Holden,
   I miss you, it's been six years now. Six years since I saw my best friend. I can't believe that it's been that long. Six years ago I was just an eighteen year old wanting to run away from his problems. Holden, I've never told you why I left, and I'm guilty of lying to you. My stepfather became abusive. To the point where I feared for my life. I couldn't tell you, or anyone because I didn't want to appear weak. Now, I realize how immature that was.
I would go to school with bruises, and every time you would brush against me I would groan in pain. I remember all the excuses I told you. I'm sorry for lying to you. You're my best friend, I should have told you.
It started off light. Just him pushing me, I thought that it was normal. Play fighting. It wasn't until I was older did I understand that he was a angry man. He started to hit me whenever my mom was away. He would strike me with his belt. Lock me in rooms with no food if my mother was away for a few days. I would always cry for help, wanting somebody to rescue me. I would hide the bruises away from people, hide the scars that he created. Even now I can't look at my back without reverting back to my teen selfC
I wanted to tell you before leaving. To tell you that it's not your fault. That you couldn't protect me from all the evil in the world. I wanted to prove to him that I was a man. So I enlisted. To become stronger, to become who I was on the inside.
Like the coward that I was, I ran away, and hid. Now I am telling you, and I hope that you are not upset. I love you more than life. Nothing could make that love go away.
I love and miss you, your best friend,

Sergeant Walker Monroe.