Disregard To Danger (ManxMan)

Milestones (42)

*Quincy's P.O.V*

When Monroe returned from his trip, he went straight to his room. Closing the door behind him. It was like I didn't matter, and it hurt. Did Walker say something to him that changed his opinion of me? Does he no longer want me to stay here? Maybe it's time for me to get a job, and get my life into order. 

"He's just tired. it was most likely a long drive." Kendall tries. A smile on his face before he stands up, slowly walking to the room that Monroe disappeared into. He knocks on the door softly, he's unsure of how to act around his won boyfriend now. 

I wish that life was simple. That once you met somebody that you see yourself, things just become easy. There's no stresses or worries. Maybe then they would be happy. It's all external factors ruining their relationship, which saddens me. 

I leave to my own room, understanding when I'm not wanted. The other day I went out to the store. Picking up some stamps and supplies to write to Walker. 

I put off writing to him all day, too nervous to put what i'm feeling on paper. Afraid of the repercussions that my words could cause. If he want's his privacy, would he even read the letters? Is he even allowed letters? 

Am I wasting my time by doing this? It feels like im drowning, I don't know which way is to the surface, and which way is dragging me deeper to the bottom.  It's terrifying. 

I wish that there was somebody else that I could go to. In that moment, I missed Avery. My best friend.  Betrayal or not. 

This causes me to search for my phone, which lays abandoned on my dresser. I had nobody to contact, nobody who cares enough to send me a quick text message. One thing that I regret is not pushing myself to make friends. Maybe my life wouldn't have ended up the way that it is now. Maybe I would have been happy with who I was, instead I have a hard time looking myself in the mirror. Confidence comes with numbers, and sadly that's one thing I don't have. 

Picking up my phone I quickly dialed Avery's number, having memorized it years ago. I patiently wait as the dial tone sounds in my ear. The nerves quickly crawling up my spine. I sit on my bed just as he picks up.

"Q?" A soft voice asks. The sound of his voice fills me with the feeling of safety. 

"Hey Avery." I whisper. Pulling my bottom lip into my mouth. 

"How are you?" He asks, his tone unsure.

"I'm okay... managing." I whisper.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand why I said the things that I did. I wasn't in the right mind." Avery said. I hear rustling from behind and a voice asking who it was on the phone. 

"Did I call you at the wrong time?" I asked, not wanting to be an inconvenience. 

"No, I know what I said was wrong, but moving away was for the best. I got away from my demons so to speak. I met someone... and he's helped me. Guided me into loving myself again. I wanted to get into touch with you sooner... I've just been afraid." He admitted. The thought of my friend falling in love made me smile. He deserves happiness, even though he effected mine months prior. 

"Do you love him?" I asked. He pauses. considering the question.

"Yes, With my entire heart." He answers.

"Then you understand why you saying that Walker left me hurt me. When you don't have the person you love beside you, having somebody tell you that he abandoned you, and to stop acting so selfishly... it hurts. Even if I barely knew Walker... you should accept him and I. Not tear us down." I say, letting everything that I have been thinking about spew out of my lips. 

"I understand that now, and I wish that I did before. I wouldn't have said the things that I did. You're my best friend and you have always been there for me. I should have been there for you. I wasn't, and I'm sorry." he whispers. I could tell that he was saddened by what he has done to me. It takes a lot to forgive somebody, and I can't say that he has already gained it. He's on the right path though, and maybe one day we can get back to the friendship we had before. I do miss him, and I want him in my life. 

"I know. Who's the guy?" I ask, curious. He's silent for a second and I hear more rustling. 

"His name is Josh. He is one of the faculties at the school that I volunteer at." He explains. Since Avery was a child he would work with children, It's what he sees himself doing once he gets out of school. 

"That's amazing Avery. As long as he makes you happy, I approve." I tell him.

"How's Walker?" He asks me. His tone careful. Nobody likes asking, even his aunt has a hard time. 

"He's still getting help, Monroe went out to see him." I tell him.

"You didn't go with him?" 

"No, he doesn't want me to see him like this." I whisper. Laying back ontop of the bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

"I'm sorry, well next month is reading week. Maybe I could come see you?" He asks me. The thought of seeing him again cause my nerves to spike. 

"I would enjoy that." I tell him, a small smile on my lips.

"Well, I have to go. We just got back from visiting his family so I'm tired." He tells me. I could tell that he doesn't want to leave.

"I'll call you tomorrow." I assure him, making him breath out in relief.

After we hang up, I sit up in bed. Maybe now it would be easier. Now that I have gotten over that situation. Finally, I have my best friend back.