I'm not thrilled with this chapter but if I were to wait until I was completely satisfied it may never be posted.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Bella
Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have said that.
It had been five minutes since I asked Rose if we could talk and she was still frozen in her spot. I was going to call Alice but she sent me a text saying Rose was alright, she just needed a chance to think. While it did make me feel better I still didn't know what to do.
"Rose," I called softly.
It took another thirty seconds, I actually counted the seconds, for her to respond. She slowly started to move and her eyes went straight to mine. The look in her eye scared me. She looked like someone had set her on fire. The pain in her eyes was unlike anything I had ever seen. The pain in Edward's eyes when I was at the ballet studio was nothing compared to this. The worst part was I had caused it.
"Rose," I said again, stepping toward her. I half expected her to move away from me but she didn't. She stayed in her spot. "Can you sit?" She didn't look at me. She just sat down on my bed and waited. "Can you say something please?" I practically begged. She was really starting to scare me.
"Don't do this Bella," she whispered. "Don't leave me."
I was so confused. How did this go from an embarrassing conversation about sex to me apparently leaving her. "Rose, I'm not going anywhere," I promised sitting down beside her. She finally looked at me.
"You're not?" she asked confused.
I shook my head. "I'm not," I confirmed. "I wanted to talk to you about something, but I swear I'm not leaving you."
She sighed in relief. "I couldn't figure out why you wanted to talk to Jasper," she said. "And then when you said you wanted to talk... well that's generally the start of a breakup."
I winced. I guess that wasn't the best way to start off a conversation. "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean it to come out like that. I'm just really nervous."
"Why are you nervous?" Rosalie asked taking my hand. I shivered at the contact. Rose assumed it was because I was cold and let me go. I quickly grabbed her hand.
"Well I, um, you see..." I tried. This was a lot harder to get out than I thought. Rosalie waited patiently for me to continue. She stroked the back of my hand with her thumb. "I want you," I finally blurted out. I didn't have the guts to look at Rosalie as I continued, "you want me to have human experiences before I'm changed. With Charlie a vampire and Victoria still out there there's no reason to stay human." I felt her stiffen beside me. "My point is I want to be with you, I want to make love to you while I'm still human."
The silence was starting to make me nervous so I risked glancing at her face. She had a small smile. "Do you mean that?" she asked softly. I nodded. She leaned toward me and kissed me.
I pulled her on top of me and started unbuttoning my top. Unfortunately Rosalie grabbed my hands before I could undo more than one button. "Not yet," she whispered kissing down my neck. "I want it to be perfect for you. Can you give me a few days?"
"Sure," I agreed sadly. It sounded like a rejection and that hurt.
"It's not a rejection," Rosalie said pulling me against her. I guess Edward was right. I am easy to read. She carefully redid the button. "You deserve a perfect first time and honestly, so I do."
I felt guilty for thinking badly about Rosalie. I had forgotten her first, and only time, was when her ex-finance and his friends gang raped her. This was a big step for her too. "If you're not comfortable we don't have to."
