My Life

15. 1st of April

Fast forward to a week or two afterwards and it was already April.

It was a Friday and I remember it so well.

He came to school earlier than usual, and I didn't even have to wait for him.

He came with me to my class, along with his friend, for I wanted them to stay together although they quarreled.

He played chess with me while his friend played scrabble with me.

I held his hand a long time before he was willing to slip his hand into mine, but afterwards he did squeeze it and stuff happened that only both of us could feel.

Thinking of it just makes my heart beat faster...
In both rounds of chess, he won. I'm not sure how that happened, but I know I didn't care.

At first he wasn't sitting as close to me as afterwards, but we both moved closer as the time passed.

All of a sudden, he asked me whether I could be his girlfriend.

I asked his friend to give us some space for I couldn't say yes when his friend was staring.

When I successfully asked the person to go out, I asked him to ask me again.

I said yes.

Yes, although it was April Fools.

Yes, although it might be a joke.

Yes, although I knew it is a responsibility I might won't be able to bear.

Yes, because I loved him.

I took his hand with both of mine, and as it happened, I pressed my lips onto his hand.

I don't know if he noticed it, but he probably did.

I asked him whether I can hug him. I should've asked him whether he can hug me, but I guess my mind was just too jammed.

He didn't say yes but he said yeah. And so I hugged him as we got up, but he didn't hug me back.

He stood as rigid as a plank. I guess he was shocked.

He told me he was, afterwards. He said that he would've hugged me back if I didn't let go.

But well I let go because I couldn't hug a rigid person, and plus I'm scared that he doesnt want to, so I let go.

I almost laughed at that time when he was rigid as hell. Were it not serious, I would have laughed.

I asked him whether I was blushing and he said yes.

Then he disappeared. One second he was there and the other, he just disappeared.

When I finished closing the fans I couldn't see him anywhere. I blushed all the way home, with my mind dazed, still dazed, even until many days after.