My Life

21. A Phase of Depression I

Sometimes you just gotta know and reassure people always, or else the only chance you have will be gone and who knows, you might have a heartbreak.

Unless you're heartless and a heartbreaker.

Even if you are, you should just tell them that you don't love them anymore.

Love your mates with full passion, it is good. Break ups are another matter.

When you love them fully and take responsibility, and still break up, it's always better to have the thought that you loved them with your best and did your best. God will bless you for not hurting people, but God will also bless you more for telling the truth, because when you lie, you cause misunderstandings and hurt once it is found out.

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Paradox
Out of sight, out of mind

Our ways may seem right to us but God ponders our hearts, our motives.

There's no point in speaking to him in the fake account isn't it.. it's fake, it's all lies...

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Sometimes love just ain't enough

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Hurt me with the truth but don't comfort me with lies

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I always called him late at night, in the hopes that he would pick up my calls, but he usually never did.

Nights when I stay up late in order to go to the doctor's, nights which were so cold I needed his voice to warm me up.

Those were the night's I needed him the most, but he just wasn't there for me.

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Life is not something you can help.

You fall into deep valleys, and you can't say that you fell because of these and those. There's no what ifs. There's only trials and success.

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I'll try to make him feel the love... I'll talk to him.. I'll try my best to find that love back for both of us.. if he still wants me

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I tried my best to be patient, but after a month of waiting, I think I knew that nothing was going to happen unless I worked on it.

So I asked him whether he still wanted to have me as his girlfriend.

The first time I asked that, he said yes. I nearly cried at that, for I believed in him.

But afterwards, it was just all the same.

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I'm just gonna keep myself busy for this week, and call him again on Sunday. Sunday at 22.37. I'll prepare for the worst, and then I'll live a free life afterwards. Maybe we're still friends. But not that anymore. And I won't look at him with hurt in my eyes. I'll look at him with hope, because I hope he will be mine again in a few years, or at least until I move on. I will do the French project with him. No worries. Nothing can keep me away from him. All is okay. Until he asks me to be his girlfriend back. I'll accept it if currently I don't have one. At that time, he'll be matured enough. At that time, I'll be truly happy. At that time, I know that he would've changed. I will always always love him.

And if he says we continue, which is not likely, I'll love him all the more and give him space so he could think about us. And of course I'll change. I won't talk to him too much.

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I still like you, a lot, but if you don't prove it then I'll have to.. decide.. I know guys can't read minds.. so I'm informing you in advance and let you decide.. and by next Sunday if you don't tell me what you're thinking... I'll have to make up my mind cause I can't wait for you. :)

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If you don't want me anymore just tell me. Just say it if you want to break up. Just say it if you don't love me anymore. Don't tell me you love me and then act like you don't. I love you. I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want. It's okay.

I want you to stay. But if you don't want to I won't ask you to stay.

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