Truth be told, I got nervous nung sinabi niyang sasakay kami doon. Siguro kasi sa mga napapanood kong movie at nababasa kong books, it's either super kilig or super heartbreaking ng scenes na mga nangyayari doon. And I'm trying to avoid both this time.
We got in and as soon as the wheel moved, I never stopped talking about the cruise, the band and my stay here in England. We were having a really good talk and laugh. Pero kahit na sa tingin ko ang daldal ko na, hindi pa din pala.
Lahat na ng pwedeng sabihin para hindi lang kami mapunta sa topic about the past nasabi ko na. Pero wala pa kami sa tuktok nang natapos ako magkwento. Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko at tinawagan ang mga kapatid ko. 5 am naman na sa Manila, siguro gising na sila.
"Hi Achi! We miss you! Why aren't you sleeping?" GLAD THEY PICKED UP THE CALL. HINDI KO ALAM GAGAWIN KO IF THEY DID NOT.
"I'm currently in London Eye and it is too early to sleep. Shoti, I will take a picture of the sunset muna ha. Don't drop the call." The view was so beautiful I cannot just let it slip.
"I can just take the picture if you want to?" I smiled pero yung phone ko binigay ko sakanya.
I immediately turned my back on him and took shots. I can say, he probably doesn't know what to do with the call.
"Shoti, who is that?" I heard Ahia said from the other line. "I don't know. Hey, who are you? Are you Achi's boyfriend?"
"What? No. No. Im just her friend. I used to be her professor in LU. I have seen you guys before, you're even more handsome right now." He said maybe finding a way to change the topic.
"Really? When? That's so nice of you. Thank you, Sir."
"During your sister's 18th birthday. Just call me Kuya Jay. I hope to meet you soon when I get back in Manila." He then handed me back my phone nang napansin niyang tapos na ako kumuha ng pictures.
"Achi, kelan ka uuwi? Sabay ba kayo ni Kuya Jay?"
"No eh. He's coming back tomorrow. I'd be back in four days. Just message me what you want for pasalubong, okay? Let's end this call na. Prepare for school, love you boys."
"Your brothers are cute." Biglaan niyang sinabi nang tinapos ko na ang tawag.
"Well, kanino pa ba magmamana? Syempre sa ate."
"Parang hindi naman." Hinawakan niya ang chin ko at tinitigan ako na parang ineeksamina kung talagang sa akin ba nagmana ang mga bata. "Mas lamang sila kaysa sayo."
Hinampas hampas ko siya. Hindi naman dahil sa nainis ako, hindi ko lang talaga alam paano makakaalis sa posisyon na iyon nang hindi nagiging awkward ang atmosphere.
"Thank you for this, Angtuaco." He just smiled as we made our way to the promised pub.
We went inside an Irish pub, or that's what they call it. Mas okay na ako dito, para maiba naman, madami namang club sa Manila.
It had an 'Irish' vibe and I find it cool. I ordered a beer in a Guinness mug, and I think I have downed only one noong naramdaman ko nang umiikot ang paligid ko. I'm not really fond of drinking beer, give me any wag lang 'to.
I can't seem to spot Jay around. I got up the stool and walked up to a random stranger.
"Oh, hey. Have you seen my friend? He was with me by the stools earlier but he just went gone." Dinescribe ko pa ang itsura ni Jay at hindi ko na alam ang iba ko pang pinagsasabi. Nakita kong may namuong ngiti sa bibig ng lalaking napagtanungan ko.
"You don't have to look for him, dear. I'm available." He said trying to touch and get close to me.
"Hey, let's go." Nagpatianod na lang ako sa humila sa akin papalayo sa lalaki. Tinignan ko kung sino ang humihila sa akin at napagtanto 'kong hindi ito si Jay.
"Wait you're not—" At bumulagta sa sahig ang lalaking humihila sa akin. Nagising na lang ako nang inilapag ako ni Jay sa kama sa apartment ko.
"What the fuck, Elle! What were you thinking?! Bakit sumama ka sa lalaking yun?!" Galit na galit niyang sabi.
"Alam mo, akala ko kasi, ikaw siya. Hinila niya ako papalayo dun sa mga lalaking may gusto na atang dakmain ako doon." Hindi ko na siya tinaasan ng boses dahil wala namang patutunguhan kung magagalit din ako sa pagsinghal niya sa akin.
"Eh bakit nga sumama ka?! Hindi ka naman pala sigurado kung ako yun! I knew coming in a pub is such a bad idea."
"I was looking for you, Jay. Hindi ko alam kung nasaan ka. Lagi ka namang ganyan eh, lagi kang nangiiwan sa ere. Akala ko ikaw yun kasi lagi kang dumadating kapag kailangan ko na ng tulong. I really thought it was you, but I was wrong. Akala ko ikaw na talaga, pero ang tanga tanga ko para maniwala sa sarili ko." Tuloy tuloy kong sabi not knowing there are tears rolling down my cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, Elle."
He kissed my forehead and stormed out of my flat.
