January 29, 2012
Dear Diary,
Today feels like the last piece of my hope for a new life for myself. Today feels like the last day I keep my emotions bundled up. And today feel like the last of my humanity is gone.
Both my parents are now thinking of therapy for me, makes sense since me wanting to be by myself isn't "normal". Well I'm not normal, I'm not sane, I'm not anything.
I want to live by myself. But sometimes I can't see myself graduating. Or having a family or a job. And mainly just living.
Sometimes I constantly think of suicide, me dying or getting murdered. These thoughts bring an inner peace to me somehow, don't know why, but they do.
I thought living with my dad would be easier for me, but turns out I am completely wrong. Living with my mom isn't as bad as it was before, but I still don't like it. I guess just living is what I don't like. Strange and not normal is probably my definition of myself. Maybe even hopeless and crazy might fit in the category too.
Dying sounds better and better each day, but I can't see myself doing it, I see others doing it towards me. Occasionally I see myself stabbing my heart with a knife, or shooting my head, maybe even poison or starvation.
I am no longer looking or wanting back my sanity or something to help,
I am no longer wanting to see the sun light,
I am no longer wanting to breath . . .
Sincerely,
Darla
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The REAL Diary of a Highschooler: Freshmen Year 2011-12
Short StoryMy life . . . lonley is what it is. Sometimes I don't feel like I am, but then again it's most of the time I do feel lonesome. Lonesome because I am lost, and lost because theres no hope left, and no hope left because I am vanishing. Most high schoo...
