The Writer and the Singer (Harry Styles AU)

Chapter 11

     “Aubrey, I’m worried about you.” Her head snapped up to meet Mar’s gaze. Aubrey studied Marie’s orbs that melted from a light brown to muted green towards the rims of her eyes. Marie knew she had her attention so she continued, “It’s just- I know what happened with Brooke and I can see how dependent you are on Harry already.”

 Aubrey’s stomach dropped and she took a deep breath before responding, “You don’t understand. I need him. I can’t be without him; I can’t even function without him.”

“That’s what I’m concerned about. I know you, Aubrey. I know how you get emotionally attached to things…and people and I don’t want you to get hurt again. I can’t see you go through that again.” Aubrey’s heart swelled. It meant a lot to hear that Marie was worried about her. Anxiety emerged as she considered what Marie was saying to her.

     “Mar, I just don’t know any other way. I resent the fact that I don’t know how to be happy, without someone else. I don’t know how to change that though. I just need some relief from the heaviness of my heart…he gives me that. He makes me feel alive; I do not simply exist when I’m with him, I feel alive. He makes me genuinely happy.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m elated that you’ve found someone that you feel that way about. I'm not trying to be a jerk, I just don’t think you should give him everything. I can’t see you get hurt again.” With that they parted ways as they turned to walk down different hallways in the school.

     Aubrey struggled internally for the next few days. She couldn’t find it in herself to cut things off with Harry, nor did she want to. She recognized that her infatuation with him was unhealthy and somewhat irrational, but she couldn’t amend it. She found beauty in the devotion lovers had and without it she believed relationships were pointless. Aubrey reasoned with herself that it wouldn’t be worth anything at all if she didn’t love him fully. Worry still polluted her thoughts, but she resolved to love Harry with everything she had, despite the consequences.

     The morning fog caused there to only be a dull glow from the sun. It made Harry’s complexion appear paler and his light pink lips stand out. “Oh love, I’ve been meaning to tell you something.” He spoke, stopping Aubrey’s observing. “Tomorrow I’m not going to be at school. My family’s going to visit my uncle’s family over the weekend.”

“Oh.” Ridiculously her voice cracked. Her heart sunk within her chest. She looked down studying her thumbs’ movements. Harry noticed the forced smile she plastered on when she met his gaze again. “That’ll be fun for you.” She forced a bigger smile.

“I guess so. I’ll miss you.” He pecked her on her cheek. He didn’t mention her response, but it concerned him.

     Aubrey’s chest constricted at the thought of him not seeing him at school nor over the weekend. She would be alone in the house that whole time because her parents had left on a business trip that morning. This is exactly why you shouldn’t give yourself over to one person, Aubrey thought frustrated. Dread clouded the rest of her day. The drive home from school was mostly silent, as Harry used his free hand to rub Aubrey’s thumb in circular patterns that soothed her. When they stopped in front of her house, Harry got out first and ran to open her door for her. He took one of her hands and helped her down from the car.

     He cupped her chin and sweetly planted tiny kisses all over her face. Then he landed on her lips and pressed her against the shut car door. There was an underlying urgency in the kiss. Aubrey took Harry’s lip between her teeth. Harry moaned. Aubrey’s core ignited when hearing the sound. Their movements were feverish. Aubrey suspected Harry could see her need for him through her actions. Harry ran his tongue over her bottom lip before pulling away. Aubrey gasped mutely. “I’m going to miss you, God am I going to miss you,” He said earnestly.

“I’ll miss you more.” Aubrey whispered and gave him a small grin. He wrapped her securely in his arms once more before departing.

     He drove off unhurriedly. His worry grew the further he drove away from her. He should’ve brought up the distress he saw on her face when he told her he was leaving. He replayed his actions when saying goodbye to her and hoped that they were enough to prove his worry unnecessary. “UGH!” He screamed in frustration. His concerns continued to haunt him as he drove off to his house, where he and his family would immediately leave for his uncle’s.

     Aubrey lay curled up on her side covered by multiple duvet covers. There was no number of blankets that could warm her rigid body. The flimsy pieces of duct tape that held Aubrey’s broken pieces together were giving way. Her entire being illustrated this. Her shoulders shook stiffly from both shivering and the silent sobs that raked through her body. The worst part of it was she was unsure of the exact cause of her tears. Everything had become a compilation of her sadness.

     She was desperate for Harry’s presence. A piece of herself had been torn away from her in his temporary absence. Her first instinct when experiencing this type of crushing sadness was to talk to Brooke, but in realizing the impossibility of this a new wave of pain washed over her. She ridiculed herself for being so weak that she couldn’t hold herself together for the few hours that had passed since Harry had left.

     If I can lose Brooke to herself, I could easily lose everyone else the same way. It’s been four hours and I’m ready to lose myself, so hell why wouldn’t they lose themselves that way? Damn it, no one else feels this way. They couldn’t and still survive it. Someone else rescuing me has only brought more heart ache. I’m completely helpless against this feeling. Harry. Maybe if I could just talk to him, if only for a moment. She recalled her promise to herself to change for him in that moment. Fresh tears created new trails down her cheeks. She powered off her phone, in order to prevent herself from prevailing to the urge to seek aid.

     The tsunamis of torture grew in intensity each time they ensued. She yearned for sleep, to escape the tormenting of her conscious mind. However, it did not come. She was restless and violently tossed and turned in her bed. Claustrophobia settled over her as she lay in her tiny room. Finally giving up on her hope, she hopped out of bed and left the house.

     Her feet carried her to a place she hoped would bring her peace. Still running she threw off her clothes, leaving a trail of them behind her. The bitter pond water shocked her system as she once again found herself swimming in the pond Harry had brought her to. She had aspired to feel his presence by coming here. Thoughts of him calmed her and her wish was granted. She gladly sunk into the physical and mental numbness.

*Author’s Note: I’d like to give a massive shout out to my lovely friend, Chaise, for making the cover for my story! Her profile is in the dedication and she just started a new fanfiction, so check that out! The song for the chapters will always be on the side bar, so you can look for them there every time I update. Multiple people have called Aubrey and Harry, Haubrey, so that’s their official ship name now. I hope everyone’s enjoying their breaks and the holidays! Message me, vote, and comment babes!*