The Writer and the Singer (Harry Styles AU)

Chapter 20

      Aubrey's feet rested in Harry’s lap and her back rested against her bed's headboard. Harry rested against the wall from where he lay at the end of her bed. They were deep in conversation, their eyes watched each other intently as they spoke. "I love, the way I yearn to be loved. I give myself over to the feeling. It's irrational and all consuming. I'm completely myself and I give everything. I've lost a lot because of it, but I don't see a way to change it."

     "I think the reason you struggle is because you're so passionate and you truly see people. I adore how you're passionate about everything,  no matter how seemingly inconsequential. It's a part of who you are. Your vulnerability is beautiful, love."

"Thank you." She spoke sincerely.

After a moment's pause Harry spoke, "I love you an awful lot. You know that, don't you?" She blushed at his reminder and nodded.

      After a moment she continued, "The trouble with becoming attached to someone is they're so easy to lose. I know I should be wary of attachment by now, but I'm just not. That's foolish but it doesn't feel that way. I don't know how else to live nor love. I wouldn't mind, but no one else seems to love that way."

     "It's beautiful that you refuse to give up on the idea of love." Harry leaned forward and whispered in Aubrey's ear, "I'm so glad you haven't." She shivered involuntarily when his breath brushed against her neck. The affect he had on her was incomprehensible. She didn't care to evaluate what the consequences of that were.

      The next day Aubrey walked through the rain towards Niall's front door. She inhaled the lovely smell of the raindrops falling on the pavement. She found the door ajar, which was strange. Aubrey pushed the door open silently, peering in. She called to Niall and got no response. No one appeared to be home. Anxiety propelled Aubrey through the doorway and down the corridor. Maybe he had told her the wrong time? She pondered. A stream of light shone under the crack of the bathroom door. She knocked lightly on the door. Shallow breathing was the only response.

     She slowly pulled the door open. Niall's crumpled figure lay before her. His eyelids drooped. A lazy smile covered his face. His head rested on the wall. Aubrey cautiously approached him. White powder was made visible under his nose. "No, no, no. Niall, no. You aren't-" She stopped and wiped the powder away furiously with her sleeves. She fought to breath. She refused to have a break down. This wasn't about her, it was about Niall. "I'm sorry Niall. I'm so sorry."

     Her hands fluttered over him once she ridded him of the remnants of the drug. Her mind raced as she tried to develop a plan. She felt totally out of her depth. Her knowledge of the subject was incredibly limited. "Let's get you cleaned up, eh?" She fought to keep her voice calm. Her thoughts were screaming, but she spoke quietly. He wasn't present in the moment. She pulled him up to stand and grabbed a towel from the hall closet. "Alright, I'll just be in the other room. Just take a quick shower, ok?" He nodded, still appearing dazed. 

     Aubrey sank into Niall's bed. She closed her eyes and focused on breathing. She refused to comprehend what had occured. Subconciously it set in, despite her efforts to refrain from thinking of it. Silent tears fell, but she was emotionless. She heard the water stop and rose from the bed and waited for Niall outside the bathroom, holding sweats for him to change into. He opened the door, without meeting Aubrey's gaze. She extended the clothes and offered them to him. "Thank you." He shut the door to change. 

     When he walked out of the bathroom again, his eyes were red and tears were rapidly flowing down his face. "Aw Niall. I'm so sorry." Aubrey walked over to him and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her and tucked his head in her neck. "Thank you, Aubrey."

     They stood, Aubrey holding Niall for a few moments. "How long?" He pulled back from her and searched her face. "Before or after?"

He looked down before answering, "After," His voice cracked.

"Chaise would hate that you're doing this to yourself."

"I know." His head hung.

"I get addicted to people, not substances. I'm not sure which is worse. I'm awfully sorry and I feel for you. We all lost her, although your relationship was different with her. You must stop doing this to yourself." He nodded in response and tightened his jaw. His gaze hardened and a determined look set in his features.

*Author's Note: I am so sorry for the wait! Going back to school after Winter Break has been crazy. Not having time to write has driven me mad- I promise not to make everyone wait for the next chapter this long ever again. Vote, comment, and message me beauties♡*