Alive >> Jake Fitzgerald << Scream

Twenty-Seven.

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while but my dad's been in hospital a lot recently because he's got a ton of things wrong with his heart so hes been my main priority but I'm gonna try to update more often, dont worry I still love you all!

The next week I returned to school. Nothing had happened since I'd been put in the hospital, no evidence had been found, no murders, no attacks. It was almost as if the moment I went into hiding, so did the killer.

I guess that's what made classmates begin to suspect me.

People who I'd been fake friends with since middle school would avoid me in the corridors, my teachers were uneasy whenever they were around me and I'd been left multiple notes in my locker, either asking me to kill someone for another person or threatening me.

I hadn't spoken to Jake since the last time he'd sent me a text message, I deeply missed him. It felt as if a part of me had been cut off, because he was a part of me, or atleast he had been.

Since I'd been stabbed the only people I'd really spoken to were Brooke, Kieran and Noah. Emma was still weird around me after finding out about what went down between me and Will, Audrey felt bad leaving Emma and Will pretty much dropped off the face of the earth.

I'd been let out of the hospital three days after I'd been stabbed, my Dad worked a lot of extra shifts to be able to pay for my hospital bills so Kieran had to take time out of school to take care of me. He made me chicken noodle soup, he changed my bandages, he got me anything I needed or wanted, in that week that he took care of me he was the kindest he'd ever been to me.

Apart from the time when Jake showed up at my house, practically begging to see me and as I tried to open the door, Kieran slammed it shut, yelling at me to 'stay away from that psycho, because he almost got us killed'.

I missed him.

That was the only thought that filled my mind as I walked the school halls alone, wearing Jake's letterman jacket that I'd never bothered to give him back. People stared at me as I passed by them; I felt alienated.

I hadn't seen any of my friends since the moment I'd stepped foot in school, it was as if even they suspected me, just like everyone else.

After the bell rang for first period, and all of the halls had cleared, I found myself sat on the floor infront of my locker, my books for language arts clutched against my chest.

"Lydia?"

"Brooke, hey!" I scrambled to my feet, rubbing my eyes to hide the tears that were just about to fall.

"Lyds, what are you doing out here?"

"I couldn't bring myself to go to class." I sighed, running a hand through my hair, "Everyone thinks that I'm the one doing this."

"Well you're obviously not considering you were the one who got stabbed."

"Yeah but nothing's happened since I went into hospital and I was there the night that Riley died. I can see why everyone thinks it would be me..."

"Lydia they're adding two and two together and getting nine."

"And that means?"

"They have no idea what they're talking about."

Carelessly, Brooke placed her arm around my waist, pulling me into her side, "Come on, let's get to class."

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I sat beside Jake so we could work on our project in class, but neither of us spoke. There was only chaste glances and accidental brushes of hands. I wasn't entirely sure if I even wanted to forgive him yet, his text was what made me believe his story and also what made me miss him but so many different thoughts filled my head that I didn't know what to think anymore.

Did I really miss him or did I just not want to be alone?

Could he have tried harder to save me so Kieran wouldn't have had to?

Did he care about me the same way I cared about him?

My head began to spin as I over thought everything Jake, my friends and the killer had said to me and soon enough I found myself almost falling out of my desk.

"Woah!" Jake grabbed my arm, forcing me back into my seat, "Lyds, you good?"

"Yeah..." I placed a hand to my forehead, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You know... this is the first time we've spoken in a while."

"It is, isn't it?"

He leaned in closer, so his lips brushed against my ear, "I miss you."

"Me too." I nodded, "But I- I just don't know if I forgive you yet."

He paused for a small moment before his hand reached up and firmly pressed against my forearm in a strangely comforting way. His hand moved up my arm until it gripped my own, his pad of his thumb softly moved back and forth against my skin.

"You know that I would do anything I could to protect you, right?"

"Yeah... Yeah of course."

"Well that's exactly what I did that night. The problem is it just wasn't enough and I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you like I promised but shit happens and I just- I need you to know that I tried." He let out a breath, "That's all I can do. Try."

"I'm so sorry Jake, I knew it was stupid of me to think that you didn't try..." I shook my head, "You're not superhuman and it sure as hell isn't your job to save me."

"It might not be my job but it doesn't mean I won't try."

"Then I guess that means I officially forgive you."

"Great." He smiled

"So... did you ever pick a script for the project?"

"Uh yeah... I did actually." He leaned down and retrieved the papers from his bag, "Whilst you were in hospital I read this book that I found in my room, it had property of Lydia Hudson written on the first page, so I knew it was yours, but the second I picked this book up I could not put it down."

"To all the boys I've loved before?" I looked at the script, a small chuckle emitted from my lips.

"To all the boys I've loved before." He repeated

"Isn't that a little too... feminine, for you?"

"Well I thought you were dying and I found your book and i don't know... I guess i wanted to feel close to you."

"You're such a sap." I giggled, "I thought I lost that book. It's my favourite."

"I know." He smiled once again

"Just tell me you didn't pick the part where Lara Jean and Peter make out in the pool, because I'm not doing that." I chuckled.

"Not yet." He laughed, "No, I picked the scene just before that when they both admit they're falling for each other."

"Why'd you pick that scene?"

"I guess I can relate."

And in that moment a thought occurred to me that Jake would never know; I related to that scene too. Because I'd fallen for him pretty damn hard and there was no getting back up.

"Fuck." I thought to myself, everything hit me at once, it felt like I was being hit with a semi-truck, "I love him."