#1 ambivalent love series
Highest rank #23 in romance
Meet Britondii Luca - the simple 23 years old woman living with her best friend Lucas,the proud openly gay man. She has the qualifications and she needs a job. After all she cant spend her entire...
This chapter is not edited. There will be many mistakes. Some things may even not add up.
Britondii Luca pov
I sat,my back sinking in the warm leather listening with a lazy ear as the two men sitting on the love seat next to the couch on which I was chatted between themselves. They spoke low enough that be careful not to disturb Sebriina's sleep but audible enough for me to hear them mention our names once or twice. Maybe a few times more. To be honest, I couldn't really tell. My mind had been preoccupied hence I paid very little attention to the couple's conversation.
I stared down at the week old baby wrapped in Disney themed blankets, sleeping peacefully in my arms. On her face was a small frown much like her fathers when he slept. My lips slowly raised upwards at the memory. But as soon as the tiny movement formed , I pursed my lips together,trapping the smile.
As of last night Sebriina's father was dead to me. I would not allow myself to falter. Not this time.
Not even if he got help for his "little " problem? Or even if he got baptised and started living in accordance to the Good Book? Would he still be dead to you? My subconscious questioned both hands on her jaws, her eyebrows furrowed and her face serious, as if in deep concentration.
I shook my head, scattering the thought. Even to the blind, the deaf and the dumb, it was obvious Sebastian was somewhat mentally disturbed. I too, had seen it but blinded by my love for him, I had pretended not to notice it. I had even foolishly convinced my self he had changed. Now from a mothers point of view I had seen that Sebastian needed help. Therapy. Whatever. And until he got himself the help he needed, to my child and I, he was a dead man.
"I need to find a flat as soon as possible." I said to no one in particular,absent mindedly following softly the arch of Sebriina's eyebrows with my thumb.
"Sis,not now I hope. You just had a baby. You should spend the time resting and bonding with Sebz" John had already nicknamed Sebriina, since after her birth when he learned her name." Not getting worked up over a place to live. You know you are welcome to stay here for as long as you need." John's low,deep voice sighed
I looked up and saw the two men looking up St me expectantly. No doubt anxiously waiting for my response.
I studied my close friends faces before replying. Their face showed nothing but concern and love for me but still I was suddenly filled with boiling anger at John's words. I remained silent for a while longer willing the emotion to pass or even lessen.
I was so sick and tired of being the little damsel in distress. The little friend who always needed help. The Briiwho couldn't stand up on her own two feet.
John's words angered me because a part of me felt he was judging me, assuming I was incapable of surviving on my own taking care of my daughter.
"Guys " I said the words rather slowly,gulping my anger. After all why the hell was I getting off for? I couldn't blame them I would be worthless with a child by myself when I was the naive,vulnerable little girl who always needed to be rescued. The Briiwho as always needed a helping hand.
But. No. More.
I would learn to start becoming an independent woman. One Sebriina could be proud of. I couldn't have her growing up believing that it was acceptable for her to just laze around and expect to have friends take care of her all the days of her life. I could not afford for her to grow up comparing me with a leech who survived off other people. If I wanted to her to see me as her hero. The first order of the day was becoming independent.
"Guys" I said again" Sebriina is a week old. Stop acting as if I am helpless because I am not. I need to start moving my child's and I 's life forward. If I am not ready now,will I ever be? I know you are looking out for me but this is my final decision. The only think I ask is that though you may not have the faith that I can do it,just support me ok?"
John nodded his head in understanding and Lucas wiped his eyes and smiled.
