Gray Rainbow (Soramafu)

Monochrome And The Hero's Genes

~Soraru's POV~

I told Mafumafu, that I had something to do, even though it wasn't the truth. Not, because he got on my nerves or something like this. It was because I saw that talking about these things, his past, made him get emotional. While he told me about it, I could see his hand shaking and his voice was trembling at some parts too. It was hard to listen to him, because he spoke quietly and looking at him made even myself get nervous.

I wanted to hug him, as I saw him this troubled, but I couldn't even move an inch. I just couldn't get the thought, that it might be uncomfortable for him, out of my mind, even though he was like a little brother for me. A brother I wanted to protect and support forever.

The cold air made me shiver, as I stepped out of the shop door. It was still October, but the wind already made it feel, like it was winter. Even though it was already this cold, some trees still had single leaves on their branches.

I looked beside me and saw Mafumafu giving me a small smile. After that we continued to walk next to each other. We didn't speak, but this silence was different from the one in the coffee shop. This one was more comfortable and it was like we could understand even without talking to each other. It was weird, but I didn't want to miss his presence right next to me, at that time. Although we only met about one week ago and we already fought, I wanted to keep this relationship alive forever.

"Soraru-san?", I heard Mafumafu whisper in his unique voice. "Hm?", "Do you..." He looked at me and then continued, "Are you going to celebrate your birthday? Amatsuki told me, that it's already in November." I nodded and then answered, "It's on the third. Do you want to celebrate with me? I don't want to make a big party, but I know that Amatsuki will come over with his friends, even when I tell him not to. So, one more or less isn't a big deal." I thought again and added, "That sounds like I don't look forward to celebrate with you, but it's the opposite! I'm really excited to see what present you will give me and to hang out with you is always nice, too. Even though you're sometimes hard to understand, I realized that you're really fun at your birthday. I hope my birthday will be as nice as yours." I smiled and told him, that he should ask Amatsuki, at which time he should come to my apartment.

After this conversation we went back to silence, till we arrived at the traffic light, at which our paths parted. "I will wait till the light gets green.", I suggested and stood next to him.

As I looked to the left of me, I saw a girl, I knew very well, she was an utaite I collaborated often with, but I had the feeling, that after I met Mafumafu, I wouldn't be able to spend time with her that often anymore. This thought was weird, I liked her as a really dear friend and I could even imagine a future with her, but Mafumafu was more important right now. It was like fate, that at the exact same time I thought about him, I looked at him. If I hadn't, it would have ended in something, I didn't even want to imagine.

~Mafumafu's POV~

I was glad, that Soraru wanted me to come to his birthday. I wasn't sure if he would really invite me, because I often ruined the mood and this wasn't good for a birthday party. Because of that I was really happy, when he told me, he looked forward to celebrate with me.

The next thought I had, was about the birthday present I should get for him. What would he like to have? A game? Something for his computer? Maybe I should just ask Amatsuki. He surely had an idea for me. Even though he maybe would trick me and then I would look like an idiot at the party. But I thought, that this was still better, than going to the party without anything to give him.

After some time we arrived at the traffic light, at which our paths parted.

Seeing Soraru next to me, made me already get really distracted, but then, as I saw the girl from before, walking down the street and realized that Soraru looked at her, like he knew here, I didn't notice that the traffic light, that was green just a second ago, at least it felt like this for me, already was red. The screeching sound of the car and the voices of the people around me were really terrifying. I thought I would die for sure, but someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back onto the walkway.

What did just happen? I couldn't put the pieces of the memories from just a second ago together. I looked around me and felt really dizzy. The only thing I could feel was someone holding onto my arm.

My legs gave in, too and in the end, I kneeled on the ground trying to endure the headache, that I know felt. This was just too much for me. A near death experience... I thought dying wouldn't bee this terrifying, but I was wrong. It was the most scary experience I ever had since I had been bullied.

~Soraru's POV~

What the hell did he thought when he started walking?! How did he fail to realize, that no one started going?

I was so glad that I was able to grab his arm and pull him back to me. I didn't know and I didn't want to know, what would have happened, if I hadn't rescued him.

His breath was fast and he looked like he was in pain, as I hold him. At first he stood, but then i couldn't hold Mafumafu up anymore and I continued to hug him on the ground. I stroke over his head and even though I was still angry about his action, I wanted him to calm down again.

His expression worried me terribly and I wanted to help him so badly. I didn't knew what to say or if I should call an ambulance, so I tried to at least comfort him with my hand stroking over his back and his head.

I pulled myself together after some seconds and then asked, "Is everything OK?" He only nodded. "Do you want to go home?" The same gesture. I stood up together with him and then we slowly went to his flat.

~Mafumafu's POV~

Why didn't I realize, that no one started walking like me? Why did the thought, that he knew her made me get so irritated? I didn't understand but, maybe it would have been better, if the car had just hit me. I wouldn't have to endure this headache and Soraru's worries. Of course he would have felt guilty, but in the end he would have been able to forget me, right? He had this girl and his friends.

Even though I was still troubled and couldn't stop rethinking everything, my eyes closed again and again, telling me to get some sleep.

I looked at Soraru and sighed, before closing my eyes. Would he stay by my side? If I was honest, I wished he would, but asking him was too much. He already did enough for me.

~Soraru's POV~

Seeing him sleep calmed me down a lot. He looked so cute and happy when he slept, but I didn't know if I should stay by his side or not. It would be rude to take advantage of this situation to stay here. I didn't have to do anything at home, but staying here wasn't exciting either. So I decided, after some moments of arguing in my head, to go. Before I left, I covered Mafumafu with a blanket, that I found in his bedroom.

~Mafumafu's POV~

As I woke up he wasn't there anymore. It made me sad and somehow I felt disappointed. I wanted Soraru to stay by my side, hold my hand and maybe kiss me while I sleep, but this was maybe a bit too much to ask of him. I blushed a bit due to the thought of his lips on mine and then looked at the blanket, that laid on me. How cute... He really bothered himself to cover me with it. He was so adorable and still so manly... He was just amazing... Too amazing for someone like me.

I didn't deserve him at all.

With a sigh I looked up to the ceiling and felt my eyes tearing up. I was such a crybaby... It made me get ashamed of myself. I sobbed and then covered my face with the blanket, as I started to cry hardly. My heart ached and even though I didn't even confessed and I still didn't knew if he liked me or not, I told myself that this love was a waste of time... like all the times before.

Maybe, it was because I thought, that if I told that to myself and cried by myself, I could let Soraru out of this, so that he wouldn't feel guilty. I thought it was better this way, but I think he would say, that I was just selfish again. Maybe he was right, I just wanted to make it easy for me, so that I could break my heart myself and not by another person. It was weird. I rather destroyed myself, than let anyone else do it. I rather destroyed the slightest chance of happiness by myself, than having the slightest possibility to get hurt by someone else.

I trembled as I sobbed hardly and then looked at the clock. It was already midnight and I told myself, that I should go to bed, try to get some sleep and forget these thoughts. I still had some time till his birthday, but I needed the time to get my mood up again. Maybe, I should try to focus on the meeting with my parents, instead of thinking about him. Yes, I should use the next days to distract myself.