Gray Rainbow (Soramafu)

VIL.

~Mafumafu's POV~

I didn't really knew what to do, after Soraru left me alone in the mall. I just scrolled through my twitter and looked up from time to time, to watch random people walk past the bench I sat on. But then one girl caught my eye.

Her eyes were directly looking into mine and I got a really bad feeling. I knew her, but I didn't know why.

I tried to just ignore it and told myself that I was mistaken and that she didn't looked at me, but when I lifted my head again, I saw that her eyes were still looking at me, even though she now tried to hide it by looking at her phone when our eyes met.

Her gaze made me feel uncomfortable and I decided to leave, before she actually could do anything worse than just staring at me.

But when I stood up, she put away her phone and walked towards me.

Just at this moment I realized the reason for me knowing her and my eyes widened as I remembered her walking down the street, looking at Soraru, causing me to walk on the street and to get almost hit by a car.

When I pulled myself together again, she already stood right in front of me, looking like I did something that pissed her off. "Uhm, is something wrong?" I asked her, trying to break the awkward silence between us.

"Yes, more than just wrong. I'm sorry that you don't get, that this guy is mine, but please, do us both a favor and stay away from him." She said sounding like she was about to begin a fight at any moment.

"'This guy'? Are you talking about Soraru-san? What is wrong with me meeting a friend?" I wanted to know.

I was just hanging out with him, but she talked like she saw us going into a love hotel together or something similar.

I knew that she was right about my intentions not being the ones of a friends all the time. Even though I felt like I got tired of actually trying to become closer to Soraru-san, which she couldn't know either.
"You're right, I'm talking about Soraru-kun. He's in love with me, but is way to shy to actually confess and I don't want him to loose his pride by confessing to him first, so we're friends right now. But like I said; he loves me and I love him and you should not dare to even think about trying to seduce him with your cuteness, you little gay piece of shit."

Her words hit a nerve, that I didn't even know of till then. My eyes fixed the ground and I couldn't do anything but stare at the dark stones.

I felt so bad because of her words. I didn't try to seduce anyone and making the word gay sound like it was a bad thing made me feel even worse.

I already had to tell myself over and over again that it was okay to be this way, but with this one sentence I felt like I was thrown back to the times where I was bullied by the other kids.

They didn't actually teased me because of my sexuality, but I told myself that it was like this. 'It was my fault'. 'I was weird'. I kept thinking this things back then and now these thoughts came back to me.

Furthermore, her words actually made me think that I was the one wrong, that I was really trying to take Soraru away from her, that I really tried to seduce him, even though I knew that this was only her imagination and not the truth. But this kind of feel was nothing new for me.

I always began to feel like everything was my fault when someone told me I was wrong. It has always been like this and it would always be like this. It was something, that I couldn't change about myself.

I still stared at the ground, trying to pull myself together and answer her something, but I just couldn't get myself to speak up.

"Just stay away from him."

This where the last words I heard from her on that day and I hoped they would be the last words that I heard from her till the day I couldn't use my ears anymore.

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Some time passed and I still stared at the direction she went to. All the thoughts I had were mixed together in my head and I felt like I would go insane, but more or less fortunately a man bumped into me and I came back to a more or less normal state of thinking.

With my eyes I followed the man, till I turned around and began to walk towards the exit of the mall.

'I should just forget about it.', was what I tried to tell myself and when I got into a train to go back home, I actually succeeded in staying calm and not thinking about Soraru or the horrible meeting with his 'future wife'.

But two things still bothered me, that I couldn't stop thinking about.

The first was, that this girl talked like Soraru was something that you could actually keep and not a living being with own thoughts and own decisions.

She talked like he belonged to her and only her.

The second thing creeped me out.

How long was she following me already?

I didn't noticed her till Soraru left me alone.

Of course it could just be that I was to distracted by Soraru, but that, even though she had to follow us quite some time, I didn't noticed anything made me worry.

I even asked myself if she might become something like a Stalker for me in the future and I was terrified by this thought.

I didn't want to spend my nights worrying about whether someone is coming in again, or not. I already was done with this and I thought it wouldn't begin again.

Or maybe all of my thoughts were exaggerated and she only happened to came by and saw me with Soraru and the things she said, weren't actually meant like Soraru is something that you can belong.

I sighed internally and I realized that these past week just were to easy and that I should have known that my life would become like this again, but I still wanted to hope.

I hoped that someday a guy would come and love me forever, but of course it's hard to find someone like this when you're aware that this person has to endure you all the time.

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Author's Note

I'm really sorry for not being able to update my stories regularly (╥_╥) and I want to say, that I am really thankful that there are people, that read and like my story. Hopefully you all will continue to enjoy my stories. (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)