His Good Girl (h.s.)

fifteen

I sink into my seat as Harry weaves through cars on the freeway definitely exceeding the speed limit. It's not until we slow down to get off that I realize my eyes were squeezed shut.

    "Jesus, I'm pretty sure my life just flashed before my eyes." I let go of the handle above me and let my heart gradually slow down.

    "People just don't know how to drive." Harry replies with an annoyed tone. People do suck at driving here, but I would very much rather be stuck behind a car going the speed limit than smashed against the freeway barrier. I keep my comment to myself because it would just lead to unnecessary attitude and tension.

    "Tomorrow I have to get all my applications in." I remind myself aloud.

    "I hope you get into something close." He smiles over at me. I feel a knot in my stomach form. He doesn't know seventy-five percent of the schools I applied to are out of state. I only applied to UCLA and USC which are like a five percent chance I'll actually get in. I don't have extraordinary test scores, but my extracurriculars are pretty impressive. I mean who knits sweaters for the blind on their Saturday mornings? I did! But only so I could put that on my college application.

    "Yeah, it'd be a dream to go to USC or even UCLA." I look out the window and imagine myself at either school. I can totally see myself at both schools, but it's too good to be true. I doubt I'll even get waitlisted.

    "Don't worry, love. I know you'll get in because who wouldn't want Violet Belmont at their institution?" he places his hand on my thigh in reassurance.

    "What if I don't, though?" I ask meekly.

    "Then you're meant to be somewhere else. Don't worry too much about it, Violet. You'll love wherever you end up." his words bring comfort to me. I don't want to disappoint him. I don't want to disappoint anyone.

    Harry pulls up into the driveway of my house. I guess my father gave him a remote for the gate. Which makes sense how he got to the front door the other night. When he pulls up behind my car, I undo my seatbelt and grab my bag.

    "Thank you for lunch." I say, waiting to see what happens next.

    "Of course." he smiles and leans in for a kiss. A casual goodbye kiss makes my heart float. It's small but sincere. "I'll see you later."

✧ ✧ ✧

    Harry Styles: I'm sorry, my meeting got pushed back. I'll make it up to you tomorrow.

   

    Do you ever feel a feeling so strong but you're so vulnerable at the same time? Every little thing makes your heart flutter and your stomach burst into butterflies. You can't help but smile at a small memory and want to be with them all the time. You're completely lost in them. And at the same time, your heart can break at the drop of hat. Plans get pushed back an hour and your questioning everything. Work runs late and he can't get dinner and you lie in bed, staring at the ceiling because you can't bring yourself to do anything else. You were so excited for dinner. It was all you were looking forward to all day and now you can't see the one person you wanted to see most. It's a powerless feeling. You can't do anything about it. You just feel the disappointment and you feel the elation. It's like you're on a rollercoaster you can't get off of.

    I can't help how Harry makes me feel. I try to tell myself, I don't care, but it's all I can think about. When he says something sweet that could hint at something more between us, I can't fall asleep. I lay awake, replaying the scene in my head and go over everything he could have meant. Does he know what he said? Does he know that I'll be thinking about it all day and night? Probably not. Guys don't really think that far ahead.

    We've been spending so much time together and it's kind of hard not to think about him all the time and develop feelings for him. I'm talking real feelings. More than a crush, more than infatuation. I've never had a crush and actually got to know them. It's like there's a whole other side to feelings. It's fücking scary. It's scary because I don't know what he's feeling. Why is something that is so wonderful so terrifying at the same time?

   

    I toss my phone to the other side of my bed and try to keep Harry off my mind. It's not like I just took a shower and did my makeup. I'm not even upset about that. This dinner was all I was looking forward to today. But it's not Harry's fault.

    Ten minutes later, I get another text from Harry.

    "Remember that we have to watch that climate change documentary."

    I can't help the smile on my face. I want to be mad, but I can't stay mad at him. I decide to just leave him on read so he knows I'm annoyed, but I still acknowledged his text.

    Now I don't have any plans for tonight and I have no idea what to do. Netflix isn't entertaining anymore because I've watched all the good stuff. I finished all my homework. Ashley is working tonight. I have absolutely nothing to do.
   
    I wake up to the sound of my phone buzzing on my nightstand. Harry? I grab my phone and see that it's just my alarm. It's already the morning? I'm not mentally prepared for this school day.

A/N: Omfg it's been ages...a lot of stuff has been going on and I haven't been able to form my thoughts properly on paper. I'm still glad to see people voting and reading! Thank you!