Chasing Your Dreams

An Album, A Tragic Loss, And Depression

Jason's pov

*one month later*

Today's the day her album hits stores. I've posted a couple times on Instagram about it. I hope the fans love it as much as I do.

Miranda's pov

My stomach's been hurting all day. I keep going back to me and dad's conversation. I can't wait to be a mom. Mo brings in some stomach medicine. "I looked it up. You can take this pregnant." I nod, my stomach hurting really bad. I go to the bathroom and to my horror... Blood.

Jason's pov

I was about to see what the fans thought of the album. I sent one to every Aldean Army member. My phone rings. Speak of the devil. It's Miranda. I answer it. "Hey sweetheart, you excited for the album release party?" "Um..... Dad..." "What's up?" "I.... I had a miscarriage dad. The baby's dead." My body tenses up. I sit up quickly. "Um... Uh okay stay calm... Is Mo there?" "Yeah." I grab my jacket and call for Brittany. "I'm on my way, sweetheart." I can hear her crying. "Girl, hurry up, we gotta go now!" "Jeez! What's all the yelling?" She mutters walking downstairs. "Miranda had a miscarriage." Her eyes go wide. "Oh my God."

Miranda's pov

I was crying in Mo's arms when I heard dad's voice downstairs. I shakily get up and Mo helps me get some clothes on while I can't breathe from crying so much. Both mom and dad walk in. "Daddy." I whimper, crying harder and running to him. He hugs me tight and I cry harder than I've ever cried.

*later*

I can't even be excited about my album release. Mo brings me the laptop. "What is it?" I mumble, sad. "Ya wanna see what people are saying about the album?" "Whatever." I mumble as he sets the laptop down in front of me. I laid on my side, a heating pad on my stomach. I scrolled through the comments. They're all positive but it doesn't cheer me up. "What did I do wrong, Mo? Did I do something that killed the baby?" I gasp, fresh tears burning my already inflamed cheeks. "No! Of course not. These things just happen. This wasn't your fault."

Jason's pov

I spent hours, just staring at the ultrasound picture. It's not fair. This shouldn't have happened. I hear a knock on my trophy room door. I look up, physically drained. Britt. "Come to bed, Jason." I look back down at the picture. "It's just not fair." She walks over and takes the picture. "It sure isn't. Life is cruel." She whispers, leaning against my desk, staring at the picture. "God that poor girl, she must be so heartbroken." "Mo texted me. She won't get out of bed." I had my eyes closed but I heard her gasp when I said that. "I guess we're canceling the album release party?" I nod and take the ultrasound picture back. "I don't care if the baby died. He or she is still my grandchild." I shakily say, feeling lost and not knowing what to do to help my little girl. I put it in a scrapbook Britt started making for the baby. "He or she will always be our grandchild." I whisper, hugging my crying wife. "Let's go to bed, baby."

*the next day*

I wake up to my phone ringing. I groggily reach for it on the nightstand, knocking it to the ground. "Whatever. Whoever it is, I'll call 'em back later." I mumble, pulling the blanket back over my head. Man I'm tired.

*later*

I find my phone. It slid under the bed. My eyes go wide seeing it was Mo that called me! I quickly call the number back. "How's she doing?" I shakily ask, gripping the phone tightly. "I don't know! I woke up and she was gone!! I've been searching all over Tennessee since I woke up." My whole body tenses. "B-Brittany... W-Wake up!" I gasp shakily. She mumbles something but is still asleep. "Where are you right now?" "Knoxville. I've searched everywhere in Nashville! She won't answer her phone. I'm so scared!" I'm shaking. "Brittany wake up!" I gasp in a panic. I'm dealing with not just a runaway daughter but a daughter who used to be suicidal and could still fall into that. "We have to find her and fast." I say, running out the door.

Miranda's pov

My vision is so blurred from all the alcohol I drank. I was leaning against a tree in the woods of my hometown. My car just a blue blur in the distance. My phone buzzes. I sigh and stare at it before downing another half bottle of whiskey. It buzzes again. I finally pull it up. It was a message from Sierra. Please Miranda, I know what's going to happen if you're alone. Come home. Please don't hurt yourself. I love you so much. You're like my sister! I can't lose you!
I stare at the message til it blurs from my tears. "It's several years ago all over again." I gasp, crying hard into my hands. It buzzes again. I glance at it. Please respond so I know you're okay. I leave it be for about five seconds then I message her back feeling even more guilty for scaring and worrying my friend.

M: I'm here Si.

S: oh thank God! Please tell me you're okay!?

M: I'm not okay. I'll never be okay again.

S: you know what I mean, Miranda. Where are you?!

I drop my phone and cry into my knees.

M: I don't care what happens to me anymore. It doesn't matter anyway.

S: yes it does! Where are you?!

M: only a few people will miss me if I go.... Then they'll forget about me. Don't worry Sierra. I'm gonna be okay again. I know how to.

S: MIRANDA DON'T YOU DARE! DO YOU HEAR ME?! DON'T DO IT!

God I hate myself. I held my dark blue knife out in front of me. The same knife I almost killed myself with three years ago. The same knife I self harm with. "They'll be sad for a little bit but they'll move on. They'll get over me." "Put the knife down!" My heart hammers in my chest. I drop the knife in surprise and turn around. Seeing my out of breath father. "D-Dad." I choke out shakily. "What's going on?" "I don't know princess. You tell me. What's going on?" He says, kneeling beside me. I move away, miserable. "Just leave me alone." "I'm not gonna do that hun, you know that." "I don't wanna be here anymore! Sierra knows that!" I shout, snatching my knife back. "Please! Forgive me." I shakily whisper, holding it tight. He grabs my hand, holding it down. "No way. Drop it, now!" "No! Let me go! Don't you see I want to die?! Why can't I die?!" "Because.... You're my little girl.... And I'm your dad... And daddies protect their daughters with their lives. You put that knife down right now." I open my hand and he swipes it instantly. He helps me stand up. I stare at the ground, hating myself more. "Come on. Let's go home, baby girl." I walk with him to his truck. "How'd.... How'd you find me?" I whisper. He hugs me tight. "A father always knows."