feelings: are a piece of shit||dairy

My best is never good enough

15.11.15

I had a brake down today.
It's was all about my stupid history, and my stupid parents (well mainly my Dad)
So it started when I wanted to talk about my history, cause I try really hard at history and I always end up getting C5s, I mean a B would be nice, I mean even a C9 would be nice.
And all I wanted to do was talk about it, which turned into my parents shouting at me and at each other.
I just started crying and shouting, and I hated it.
This is probably one of the main reasons I hate school, it's gives me way too much stress, and I think I've done really well when really I have just failed.
I just wanted to know why I've been asked to re do work cause I didn't spend enough time on it, when in reality I spend a hour (over the home work time) but it's still not good enough.
And people always say your best is enough, and I want to believe it, but I'm contactually being asked to try harder but I have tried my best.
It's not like I slacked off, cause I didn't.
And I tell this to my parents, and my dad just shouts your best isn't good enough, you need to try harder, you need to work more, read the question again and again and again.
And it's just making me feel worse and cry more and feel even more shit.
And sometimes I really do want to run away from this place and go see Jay, but I feel like anywhere is better then my home, and then school.
So I'm going to have a shower so I can cry and no one will notice.
~Sammy