feelings: are a piece of shit||dairy

My parents know

25 July

Today I came out.
I walked down the stairs and told them.
I sat on that couch and cried.
I cried my heart out.
I spilled all my feelings out.
I cried an ocean, and I said a speech.
But yet that's not enough.
To them I am still my birth name.
To them I am still a girl.
To them I have not changed.
They said it was going to hard for them, but how hard do you think it for me?
How hard?
Cause apparently crying in the shower isn't enough.
And they say they want me to be happy and they are okay, but they don't want me to get a binder, they don't want me to go by Sam.
They think that as long as I know that it's okay.
That as long as I know I'm Sam then it's okay.
Why the fuck do you think I'm telling you then.
Just cause it funny.
No it's cause I feel all these things, and I want to be excepted, I want to be your child, I don't want to be your daughter, just child.
And I don't give a fuck if it's going to be awkward for you, it not just awkward for me, it's hell.
It's a mountain of lie building everyday.
Since I was born they told me not to lie as they are asking me to lie, lie about myself.
I just want to be Sam.
I'm not asking for money, I'm not asking for you to understand.
I'm just asking to be Sam.
But apparently it's not enough.