feelings: are a piece of shit||dairy

Why now?

4.2.2017

"Hi Issy"
One of my friend calls as I wait outside the german room.
My body freezes.
I can't speak.
My words clog up in my through.
I feel anxious.
I feel out of place.
I feel my name is out of place.
I feel dysphoric.
I feel like someone pulled me up in front of the whole school and just humiliated.
I felt like I was going to cry.
Why was it as this moment.
People had called me Isabella all day.
Why now.
Why now did I feel this way.
Why now did I want this person to call me Sammy.
And why did I feel dysphoric about a name.
That's not a thing is it.

~Sammy