Diana

Chapter 41 - Depression, Cuts, Suicidal

♛ CHAPTER 41 — DEPRESSION, CUTS, SUICIDAL ♛ 

Songs for this chapter: Half A Heart by One Direction

London's atmosphere goes cold lately, bringing me to this uncomfortable state. The harsh clouds creating rain as it ticks the windows, my minute wasted by watching stereotyped television shows. The room gets dark by the dark clouds's presence, giving out a lifeless grunt as I forced my numb knees to get up and have lunch all by my own, spending the rest of the split seconds alone. 

My hand grasped the fork, twisting it to the spaghetti, leaking it with passion. My eyes locked over the spaghetti, testing its taste as I lost the appetite to eat. I stood up from the seat, racing up the stairs. Looking for an object that I should find, a small blade was found on the cabinet, grasping it slowly, I cut my arms in purpose. Breathing heavily by the pain snaking my spine, gulping the terror that surrounds me. I ceased, successfully cut my wrists, blood drops to the floor. Getting ready cutting my right wrist, as I get used to cut it, no pain snaked my spine, no terror surrounds me. All I felt is the sting, the sting that makes my breathing rapid. As I realized that I cut more than my left wrist, I stopped, dropping the blade full of my blood. The sting didn't disturbed my presence.

Flashbacks spun around my head, realizing I broke Diana's promise; to never cut, to never be depressed and to never plan to suicide. But I didn't bother it, I shake it away from me. Thinking a way to be unlocked from my nightmares, desperate about this uncomfortable state. Starting to realize that I was a dissapointment  to everyone, Louis' accuracy shatters my heart to pieces, feeling that the trigger has been pressed in my heart. His instincts making me feel dumb to everyone.

Sighing, I make my way to the narrowed hall. Screaming Louis' name, hoping that he could hear my screams. The haze of the London's atmosphere gets darker and darker, my uncomfortable state making me out of control. 

♛•♛•♛•♛•♛•♛•♛ 

"Harry, what are these?" Zayn gasps, my mind spinning. "Harry, answer me!"

"It was just my cat…" I slur, my intoxicating state makes me want to laugh. "You know how cats treat me like shit." I slured.

"Harry…You've been cutting, aren't you?" He raises his eyebrow, he didn't even realize he got the right answer. "Harry, answer me!" 

"Stop!" I yelled, basically pleasing him to stop. "I'm fine, Zayn. You don't need to call your girlfriend and fuck right in front of me,"

"Harry!" He scolds. "Louis should know this,"

"He doesn't care for me anymore!" I reminded him. "He said that I'm unforgivable! He doesn't love me!"

"Harry, he loves you!" He convinces me. "He loves you as a friend,"

"No he isn't." I shake my head, eyes were clouded by my tears. "He hates me, more than he hates the people who hates him."

"I better call Louis." He nodded his head, grabbing his phone from his pocket, deciding to call Louis about me, about how I've gont intoxicated for the whole night. 

♛ Louis' POV ♛ 

"Hey, lad! What's up?" Zayn called, wondering what is it about.

"Harry's drunk, he's acting like a psycho when I saw him at the middle of the road." He tells me the news. "You need to come him, he's crazy. I think it's time when you forgive him, Louis."

"What? Why?" I chuckled. "He cheated on Diana…I will never forgive him." 

"It's not your business, Louis!" He shouts over the phone. "Just forgive him, I don't want him being the 'psycho' in the band."