Diana

Chapter 35: Be Careful About Love

*** 

Harry, meet me on Starbucks. xShayne 

I shove my boots on, exiting flat after having a silent lunch with Gemma and my mum. Gemma was getting protective over me, as if she acts like 'jealous' because of us. While the little brother, me, gets over-protective over Gemma's crush, Ashton Irwin. A member of "5 Seconds of Summer" But he's a very kind man, well, what if he's going to destroy her? You know? Shit, I'm going crazy. It's none of my business being the 'protective little brother' Seriously, I mean, why should I?

 I arrived in Starbucks around two in the afternoon and Shayne wasn't here for a couple of minutes. My foot tapped the tile floor, Shayne's figure coming inside the shop. She scans the whole room, her eyes darted to our table. She sits down at my opposite direction, a sympathetic smile placed around her lips. "Um, so what's up talking meeting up today?" I asked, curiously.

"Well, I think this is between you and Leslie's relationship." She adjusts her coat. "The media saw both of you at the park and they told that you were dating and you're cheating on Diana. And I don't want you and Diana's relationship will turn to be a huge disaster. The fans remarked that both of you are better than you and Diana's."

"We're only friends." I assured her. "I can still fix this."

"No, you can't." She protested. "How long have you been hanging out with her? And what did you do last night?"

"She just hang out with me and slept with me last night, then ate breakfast. That's it." I shrugged. "Why do you seem so worried about it?"

"You should be careful about love, Harry." She reminds me. "Sometimes, hanging out with a girl so much makes your brain forget about Diana already. And I don't want her being depressed, because your job is to love her and change her. She doesn't want to be the depressed one, I want her to be happy. That's your job, Harry, not making her forget." 

What does she mean? Does she mean that I can't treat her right? Does she mean that I can't treat her decent? Seriously, I can treat her better. Better than words. Except Caroline and Taylor, they were a piece of shitty, slutty bitches. And I'm very dissapointed dating them, well, maybe that's the reason why they call me a 'womanizer' and a 'manwhore'. 

"Harry," she interrupts my thoughts. "You were gone in a while."

"Yeah, sorry about that." I sighed. "I got to get going." 

I really was beyond pissed about her 'adivices'. I can't believe that she is being over-protective between Leslie and I's friendship, however, she has that point. Perhaps I will abandon Diana's soul in mine, and I will never let that happen. Whatever the media will tell us, Diana and I will be perfectly still. It's just like they are throwing rocks on us, just to let us down and dissapoint everybody. And to myself. They just like to predict that we're controlled by the management, especially the fans. But I don't accuse them for destroying us. It's the media, the media is the suspect about this disaster. If I wasn't just famous, if I wasn't in this band, if I was in school, if I was with Diana. Everything will be perfect, but this is a lesson. A lesson that I should learn without Diana, even though she isn't with me, she's in her bed, her eyes closed, being on her long journey, being on her dreams, thinking about everything else. I know that I can still breathe, that both of us will never drown by this condition. I will never let her lock her doors, I will never make her doubt. Because this is my job, to love her and to change her; to always hold her hand and never let go. Even though it's on sore, it doesn't matter. It only matters she is safe with me, it only matters that she loves me and I love her. I will never doubt her, never.

Rocks and stones break, but our relationship won't. No matter how many stones hit us, no matter how many thunders hit us, no matter how many pain occurs us, no matter she's falling, no matter she's having that difficulty to breathe, no matter how many times we shout, no matter our feet couldn't take it anymore, no matter we can't have that perfect relationship, no matter there's no forever, no matter how many times we fall; we're still this couple who never wants to be broken. No matter there is no forever, I know that our story will always have a happily ever after. 

I arrived in my flat, the flat was quiet. But it doesn't matter, I raced up to my room. My tears ready to fall. Love is painful, but sometimes, we could survive about it. I quote. There's no cure of love, there's no cure being free. We just need to be ourselves and that's the only way to be unlocked or to be free. Being yourself is the only way to be happy, you don't need someone, you don't need to cut, you don't need to be depressed, you don't need to kill yourself just to be free. You just need to be you, you and you. The one who's standing right in front of you is you. No one else, the questions are complicated but the answers are just simple and that. We sometimes expect too much of depression, perhaps after all these years the answer is just written on your walls. Right? Maybe it's just right in front of you, maybe you were just overreacting about everything. 

"Harry, stop being worried." Diana chuckles. "You still trust me, don't you?"

"Of course I trust you, Dian." I nodded my head, her hand cupping my cheeks, lifting my head up to her face. "Diana..."

"If you trust me, love me just love me the way you want." She suggests. "I know you're worried about us, our relationship. But we should trust ourselves, pray hopes up. That's the only way. So please, I love you, Harry. Forever? Forever."

"Oh baby," I smirked and kissed her temple.

"Goodbye, Harry." She gives me a wave and she fades away. 

"NO!" I yelled and my hands gripped around my hair, my heart pounding in my chest. "DIANA! STOP! I NEED YOU, DIANA! JUST PLEASE BE WITH ME! I LOVE YOU! PLEASE! DON'T GO!" 

"What's all the screaming, Harry?" My mom enters the room.

"Nothing, it was just...A dream." I stuttered and she sits beside me. 

"Harry, what's wrong?" She asks, placing a worried face. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's just about Diana." I sighed. 

"It's only a dream, hun." She gives me a comfy smile and kissed my forehead and leaves the room. 

She's right, it's only a dream. That will never happen, seriously. But would it be? NO. That will never happen. Stop making bad predictions, Harry. That's just...I hate it. It feels like it's torturing me, an arrow just hit my heart. Or the trigger was pressed and hit my chest. I glanced up to the clock, it's 4:10PM. The sky was dark and the city lights are around London, the Big Ben was filled up with lights. It's almost Christmas and Diana was in her hospital bed...Sleeping. I don't want her spending time alone in Christmas. Why can't just God let her wake up? That's the only Christmas wish I want to come true. 

***

"Harry, you're so warm." Gemma remarked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am." I chuckled. "It's just stress."

"If you're very sick there's medicine downstairs, mom bought it for you." She reminds me and she leaves the room.

Why do I feel so sick today? Is there something wrong about me? No, I didn't even drink for the past few days already. 

"Harry," Gemma's back. "Leslie is here."

"Let her in please." I said, my mouth too heavy to speak. 

"Harry, you look so...Sick." She remarks. 

"I'm just pretty sick." I laughed. "But it really isn't exposed, right?"

"Not really, I think?" She raises her eyebrow.

"Leslie, kiss me." I confidently said. "Just in the lips, please."

"What? No! Diana will be mad." She protested.

"It's okay, I'm not cheating on her or what." I laughed. "Kiss me just the way you want it to be."

"You're contagious, Harry."

"Then just drink your medicine after." I coaxed as she closed her eyes and pressed her lips to mine.

She was a pretty good kisser. She pulled away and wiped her mouth. "That's good for five seconds, Harry." She rolls her eyes.

"Thanks." I thanked her, placing a sick smirk. "That made me feel better."

"I hope Diana won't kill me," she groans. "I'm guilty, okay? I don't want Diana will be uptight on me, just being guilty."

"All right." I rolled my eyes.