Diana

Chapter Eight: "Let's Talk About It"

Chapter Eight; “Let’s Talk About It”

“We should talk about it.” Harry demands. “I won’t go anywhere when you won’t tell me why the hell did you lie in front of your ex-boyfriend.”

“Well, Shayne told you the story so why would we discuss it despite the fact that Shayne told you already?” I snapped and roll my eyes. “If you don’t want to go with us so don’t go! I don’t care if you won’t go with us anyways… It’s not a big deal, Harry.”

“But not the whole story!” Harry booms. “Why won’t you just give me a chance?”

“I won’t because I don’t trust you so much!” I cried and step backward. “I don’t trust anyone since I got a boyfriend… I’ve been miserable. No one understands me… No one understands the deeper me!” I yelled and walked out in front of them—in front of Shayne and Harry. I know I sounded stupid but I should express my words and put it all out of my stupid naïve mouth. Harry’s words are true. I am a princess—a stupid fucking dumbass princess. I tried to be a normal young woman but why can’t I? Why does the world hate me? Why is everyone ignoring me? Is it the fact that I always do something wrong? That self-harming won’t let you heal your problems? I did that because it hurts too much. They just hate me than understand the deeper me. How I was mislead, mistreat and humiliated.

I was at the ground floor, deciding to go back home and lock the doors and windows. I don’t want to see their faces this day because I know Harry is going to hurt me again but I know Shayne won’t. Shayne is just in Harry’s side, simply because he is famous, attractive and perfect, while I’m just the girl who makes mistakes and a childish princess. Why am I just so naïve? Why can’t just they understand me? Why do they hate me? What have I done? Why is my life so ruined and miserable? Why can’t I just be like Shayne? Why can’t I be the simplest girl that I was wishing for? Why am I like this? And why did I exist in this cruel world?

I walk home while tears are on my cheeks, flowing. I don’t care how many people are looking at me at the sidewalk and making a strange look. I just want to express my feelings that I don’t feel all right anymore. And tell to the press that it’s just too much hate that I can’t handle already. I was used to it but now was worse than I’ve ever imagined. I don’t know how to solve this without Shayne, because Shayne builds my confidence little by little. But I hope that I can solve this alone. I sometimes want to be independent or something.

I was home and it was thirty minutes of walking. I was exhausted, well, not physically, mentally. I’m too tired of my tears. Why can’t they just stop and shut up for one second? I don’t know but Harry is just ruining every single moment that I really want to have fun. But he isn’t precisely ruining my life… Maybe thirty percent of my life. But he’s funny and it’s true.

I locked all the doors and windows and cried on bed with no one with. I guess Shayne is having a fun time with Harry I guess. Shayne doesn’t have the rights to force me to have a relationship with Harry. If she wants me with Harry then why does she choose me? Why can’t she just choose herself?

I suddenly heard knocks from the door and I can hear Harry’s voice saying; “Get out of your room and open this door”. But I don’t want to. Why can’t he just accept the fact about me being independent? Why do I need them by the ways? They’re somehow ruining my life. And why did I trust them so easily and so quickly? Why am I so stupid?

“What do you want?” I said through the window.

“Let’s just talk about it, Diana!” Harry yells and shakes his head. “Why are you overreacting?”

I rush at the stairs and opened the front door, showing out my tears right in front of them. “I am not overreacting, Harry.” I snapped and fold my arms. “You just don’t know the feeling how hurt I am when Dave humiliated me, mistreat me and showed me the wrong direction.” I told to them, by my shaky and angry voice. Why is he so judgmental? Why can’t he just mind his own damn business anyways? I have my life and he has his.

“Well, you’re acting like one!” He yells at me. “You’re acting like a motherfucker princess.”

“You’re right, I’m a motherfucker dumbass princess.” I agreed and bit my lower lip. “Are you happy? I’m a motherfucker princess, tweet it to your fans. I’m sure they will be happy because I’m like a motherfucking princess.”

“I am not doing that to a girl something like you.” He spits. “You just don’t understand me!”

“What the hell? All of you don’t know understand me!” I screamed. “So you are telling me that I can’t understand you and I’m overreacting? That I am the one who always make mistakes and a dumb teenager acting like a motherfucker princess? You don’t have any idea how I was hurt! Why are you so judgmental to me, Harry? While you treat the other girls like she’s your wife! I better kill myself than to stay in this cruel world!”

“You’re overreacting!!” He yells very loud. “Look at yourself, Diana! Why will you never be overreacting!? You’re so over! I only said to talk about it and you’re so fucking difficult! Why can’t you just understand a fucking person something like me or Shayne?”

“And why can’t you understand the deeper me than to yell negative things on me!?” I snapped back and roll my eyes. “And why will I be the difficult one? You’re the one who’s so difficult!”

“And why did I meet you anyways? You’re just ruining my life!” Harry yells as he walks out the door.

“Neither do you!” I yell and close the door. It really doesn’t matter if I can’t meet him anymore. I was supposed to be miserable. I think I don’t have hope about changing, Harry was just making it worse. And I’m not happy for that. I don’t know if I could change because I know that there’s no hope for me anymore. Why is the world so cruel to me? Why can everyone understand me?

I should deactivate my Twitter before the hate will go worse, I don’t want to be disturbed anymore. I want to be alone. I just want to be miserable simply because God gave me this. God gave me this cruel life but I know he’ll try to change me but how? There’s no chance. I ruined everything and Harry ruined everything. I just hate everyone.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed the kitchen knife to cut myself again. It’s just too much. I want to kill myself. Just to have peace and harmony. Why is my life getting worse? Why do I always make mistakes? I don’t know if I could take this any much longer… Because I know that I will die early.

I want to die young.

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Hello! Sorry if it’s too short and a boring chapter. :/ I will try to double update so comment.fan.vote.follow. <3