Fuck

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If there's one thing I hate most is when something happens for no reason.

Which is one of the reasons why I hate myself.

I make no sense.

Monday I couldn't even get out of bed.

All I could do was keep my eyes open.

I don't understand how or why.

It just is.

My shoulders feel so heavy.

Like some invisible creature has attached its self to me.

This parasite is like a mosquito of joy.

Sucking the happiness out of everything I love.

Gaming, Reading, You.

Nothing feels right anymore.

What did that one poet say?

"Have you ever felt like opening yourself up to see if there really were bees rattleing around inside you head?"

Normally these thoughts would be shot down instantly like it was open season on suicide.

But they linger longer than usual now.

Not long enough to make a dent in my belief that dying is a waste of time.

Its there none the less.

The long story short. Fuck 2016.

Nothing good has come from it.

I hope I wake up January 1 2017 and it was all just a bad dream.

Maybe then I can smile again.

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