SSS [III] (COMPLETED)

Part 18

Something happened... although like the last time, ay mas lalo akong walang naaalala ngayon. The drinks were local, and unprofessionally mixed kaya sobrang natamaan ako ng kalasingan. I couldn't deny that. I remembered a lot of laughing. Lots and lots of laughing, and I couldn't even remember the faces of the people I'm with.

Napatulala ako sa tiles ng CR. They were unfamiliar to me. And sa pagka-gawa noon ay sigurado akong wala ako sa Bungalow ni Lola, much more sa isang hotel. Everything in the bathroom looked personalized, yet very clean. At nakakatawa pa, ang lala noong hangover ko, pero nagawa ko pa rin na maligo't hayaang maglibot iyong paningin ko.

"Sh-shit..."

Pinilig ko ang aking ulo nang may naalala. My whole body was sore, as if I tried a new heavy equipment routine. But I didn't much bother with it dahil sanay ako sa muscle pains. What bothered me was that kahit ang pagkababae ko ay masakit. Like what I felt noong when I lost my hymen, which was a really long time ago. Pero iyon lang ang tanging ala-ala kong may naramdaman akong ganitong klase sa pagitan ng aking mga hita.

And yes, oo, I already stretched my hymen when I added cycling and a little bit of gymnastics to spice my routines. I didn't know na ganoon ka overbearing iyon sa aking katawan. This was a small reason why losing my virginity didn't bother me much dahil sigurado akong hindi na sasakit iyon. But, talagang wala akong alam. Kasi hanggang ngayon may ibang nararamdaman pa rin ako.

And, God. Ngayon naiisip ko na... hindi na ako... na wala na akong...

Napapikit ako. Memories of last night was blurry, but somehow, even after I showered, ay may nararamdaman pa rin akong kung-ano. Someone touched me more intimately than any of my ex-boyfriends could ever do. At ni hindi ko matandaan kung sino iyon.

But I know the moment I go out of this room...

I sighed. Kinakabahan ako. I never felt this nervous before. Talaga palang big deal ang pagkakawala ng pagkababae mo. Suspiciously though, I don't feel any remorse.

Baka talagang nakakalma ako when I'm in the bathroom...

Tumayo ako mula sa aking pagkaka-upo sa gilid ng bath tub. I looked at myself in the mirror and at the essentials on the sink. I already judged whatever was inside the shower area. Just some typical local brands na mukhang mga bagong bili. Was it just good timing na sobrang linis ng banyo o talagang ganon iyon?

Nagduda ako ng kaonti kung babae ba ang naka-una sa akin, dahil sobrang linis talaga noong banyo. But judging from the products, from the shampoo down to the aftershave ay mukhang lalaki naman. Or may tagapag-linis sila? But the bathroom didn't look that high-maintenanced...

"Ugh, get it together, Cassi..." I muttered to myself. "Let's get this over with, at umuwi na tayo."

Napatingin akong muli sa repleksyon ko sa salamin. I nodded to myself. Nakatapis lang ako ng tuwalya. Good thing, whomever he may be, ay nagsastock sila ng fresh towels doon...

And, did I mention na hubo't hubad akong nagsusuka sa toilet kanina? Kadiri lang!

And before I could think some more ay pikit-mata kong binuksan iyong pintuan at hinagilap iyong kama. The room was dim, at ang tanging ilaw lang doon ay ang ilaw galing sa labas. Tantya kong mag-aala-sais pa lang sa umaga base sa ilaw mula sa bintana. Naningkit ako. I may be wrong. Umuulan pala...

The only noise was from the low rain outside, the hum of the airconditioner at iyong mahinang pag-hinga ng kung sino man iyong nasa kama. I tip-toed my way towards the bed at dahan-dahan na ipinatong ang aking tuhod sa kama. The body stirred. Huminto yata pati puso ko.

From having his back to me, to actually seeing his sleeping face in an instant. Ni hindi ko kailangan na mag-effort pa. Inilapit ko iyong mukha ko, to see it clearly. Kinailangan ko pang mag-squint, to make sure.