nothing like us

Chapter 29

JUSTIN

December 19, 2017

I met Stephie in April of 2009, and in the following few months, she became, my best friend, my girlfriend, and then the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

I knew Stephie my whole life, she was always the leader of every group, taking control of any games we played as kids. In the middle of my parents divorced, they moved me back to Canada to live with my uncle, and I left behind that headstrong child until I came back when I was sixteen and I was a whole new person.

My dad moved out of the house, but it stayed open to other clients and of course Stephie and her parents. She was top of our class, overachiever, and the new me never wanted anything to do with her. The first time I punched my fist into a wall, she was there, bandaging my hand and thinking of the excuse I'd tell my mom.

She was there during the bad times, all the times I pushed her away. And I loved her then, I really did, I loved her so much that I didn't want to hurt her, ever. But Stephie and I... well everyone always told us we were meant to be.

She gave me other ways to take out my anger, she'd run miles with me at the crack of dawn, we would have sex, we'd break plates, burn pictures, do destructive things all for the sake that we had to be together. And sex, well it was ideal at first, but I never wanted her to be just somebody I used to take my anger out on, and a part of me think that's what she saw herself as. She liked it, and me, well I was becoming this person. A person I didn't like. In front of people I was Mr. Bieber's son, said to take over the family business, but behind closed doors, I was a monster.

And my girlfriend, who became my fiancee, loved that monster. She loved that angry person, and I didn't. I didn't love myself, and I think there was a moment when I stopped loving her. I left after a big fight, a fight all about who I was supposed to be, and who we were going to be. Stephie was supposed to be my wife, but I didn't see that future for us. So I Ieft, and I planned to find myself again, but I didn't.

I found Bella.

This pain in the ass beautiful girl who made my head spin and my heartache. She was a curveball, an infuriatingly amazing curveball that hit me at a million miles per hour, and I had no way of seeing it coming, and no sense to stop it. For the longest time I suppressed my resentment for what happened to me when I was a teenager, and then I found someone who did the exact same thing as me, but even better.

Bella had so much on her back, and she still carries so much with her, but she saved me. I never wanted to know more about one person until I met her. I never wanted to have every bit of information about one person spilled for me and only me to know. I told her everything about my uncle, and she didn't flinch, she took me for who I was and made me better. I didn't need to be anyone else but me when I was with her.

I came from a life of perfection, and Stephie would never understand what I went through so I could never tell her. She would never know what how to understand, so she helped me do what we do in my world. We cover things up, we push it away and don't think about it. But that wasn't what I needed.

But why is any of this important? Well today, today is one year. A year ago, I had a fight with Stephie and I left and never turned back.

Me leaving led to my short fling with Abby. Me leaving led to the reason why I had to move in with Anthony. Me leaving, led to the secrecy between my sister and my father since they loved Stephie the most and wouldn't be okay with my decision. Me leaving, led to me falling in love with Bella, something that has ultimately changed me for the better.

Maybe it was the holidays that was making me feel so nostalgic, maybe the fact that it'd been a whole year since this turning point that I realized that I really needed to let go of all the baggage I was carrying for Stephie and I's previous relationship and faults.